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I hate foster care

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
in Health & Wellbeing
I actually hate my foster carer. Respectfully shes horrible.

I ask her for a paracetamol because my friend is in pain, to the point shes crying and can barely move, and she tells me in a really rude tone that she can ask herself, and gives me lip for it, which there are now gaps in because my brain is trying to make me dissociate. (im trying to get this out before). I then tell her I was just asking because she was in pain and I didnt need the rudeness, and that I was just trying to be nice and helpful. She then proceeds to tell me "I dont need to be doctoring her" which I respond to saying that "I was trying to be nice and didnt need that" TO WHICH YEAH SHE RESPONDS "I dont need you" LIKE WHAT. WHAT SORT OF FOSTER CARER CAN SAY THAT. Now I feel like it would be better if I just disappear. Then I try to tell her that I didnt need the attitude for asking to get a paracetamol to my friend WHICH SHE SHOUTS OVER THE TOP OF ME SAYING "I dont need an arguement" GIRL YOUR LITERALLY STARTING ONE then proceeds to shut the door on me and talk over me when I try to talk. WHY CANT SHE JUST LISTEN TO ME. WHY CANT ANYONE??

and its because of me.

NOT TO MENTION SHE HAS THE AUDACITY TO TELL ME I STARTED IT.

whats even worse is I cant tell anyone because I can never remember the whole story, because my mind disconnects it all, so I just have to live like this until something happens. I wont remember half of this tomorrow.

Comments

  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,440 Community Veteran
    im so sry you didnt deserve to be treated like that. you was looking out for your friend and she shouldnt be treating you like dirt. could you report to someone you trust abt her? idk how foster care works but do you have trusted adult you can tell abt her behaviour. hugs we care abt you <3.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    edited August 15
    eylah wrote: »
    im so sry you didnt deserve to be treated like that. you was looking out for your friend and she shouldnt be treating you like dirt. could you report to someone you trust abt her? idk how foster care works but do you have trusted adult you can tell abt her behaviour. hugs we care abt you <3.

    Ive been talking to my youth worker about it, shes working on getting me out of here but I havent told her about this yet, I probably will :)
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    I'm so sorry to hear about what happened @NateORlucah. No one should be treated this way especially from someone who is meant to be there to look after you. You mentioned there that you're disassociating when this is happening which is making it difficult to remember everything that happened. You also mentioned that makes it hard sharing with someone else what happened, which I can imagine might make you be feeling really alone in this.

    You took a really good step in writing this out yesterday while you could remember what happened. I'm glad we can be here to support you through this. Also really well done for speaking with your youth worker too about some things that have happened, I hope you're able to find a more supportive foster carer to live with. Is that what you're hoping for?

    If you would like more support in helping you with your living situation, a great place to reach out to is Childline who offer support via email, phone or webchat. You can find out more on their website here - https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/contacting-childline/

    With the dissociation you're experiencing, when did this start and how long has it been happening for? It sounds like it might be happening during situations where there's conflict, is that right?
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    Aoife wrote: »
    I'm so sorry to hear about what happened @NateORlucah. No one should be treated this way especially from someone who is meant to be there to look after you. You mentioned there that you're disassociating when this is happening which is making it difficult to remember everything that happened. You also mentioned that makes it hard sharing with someone else what happened, which I can imagine might make you be feeling really alone in this.

    You took a really good step in writing this out yesterday while you could remember what happened. I'm glad we can be here to support you through this. Also really well done for speaking with your youth worker too about some things that have happened, I hope you're able to find a more supportive foster carer to live with. Is that what you're hoping for?

    If you would like more support in helping you with your living situation, a great place to reach out to is Childline who offer support via email, phone or webchat. You can find out more on their website here - https://www.childline.org.uk/get-support/contacting-childline/

    With the dissociation you're experiencing, when did this start and how long has it been happening for? It sounds like it might be happening during situations where there's conflict, is that right?

    Hey, thankyou! Im hoping for some sort of independant living soon however it is taking so long for the care people to actually do something, my youthworker got in trouble for trying to speed the process.

    The dissociating has been happening from when i was at least 8 years old but I only recently got told thats what it is, it tends to make me forget some things and sometimes I just get stuck like that
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