What does ‘growing around grief’ mean? Growing around grief is a model created by grief counsellor Lois Tonkin. Tonkin came up with the model after speaking to a client about the death of their child. The woman told Tonkin that at first grief filled every part of her life. She drew a picture with a circle to represent her life and shading to indicate her grief. It was all consuming. She had thought that as time went by the grief would shrink and become a much smaller part of her life. But what happened was different. The grief stayed just as big, but her life grew around it. There were times where she felt the grief as intensely as when her child first died. But there were other times where she felt she lived her life in the space outside the circle.Why is the idea of ‘growing around grief’ helpful? This view of grief does not tell someone that their grief will go away in time. You will never be ‘over it’. It acknowledges that there will be some days where you feel grief as strongly as you did when the person first died. But there will also be days when you are able to move on with other parts of your life. Sometimes people feel guilty about this, as if it is disloyal to the person who has died. The ‘growing around grief’ model shows how we can still grieve the loss of our loved one while carrying on with our own lives. It shows that we can grow a new life which includes the loss. If you’re finding grief overwhelming, we’re here to help.
I cant open up to them. Im not close to them, im just the one kicked to the curb. One of my sisters couldnt care less about me then my other sister claims me trying to take my life was me attention seeking.
She just listened. She understood me because she struggled with mental health too. Idk
Still struggling a lot in all honesty. It feels like a repetitive cycle that's never ending. Urges are bad but im trying to ignore them. Its just a case of trying to ge through each day i guess. Its more surviving than it is living
