I don’t matter

All I do is suck away people’s time and energy, and I can’t give anything back. I need so much help and support to even exist. Nobody needs me. I live my life for other people but it feels kind of pointless when the only impact I have is making people’s lives harder. I guess I just want people to appreciate what I can do. I want my parents to be proud of me. They just think I’m lazy and they have no idea how hard things are. I can’t tell them how I feel. My mum just always says it’s not the right time, and my dad tells me I’m being silly. It makes me feel so much worse. I usually turn to my teacher but she doesn’t always have time for me and I feel like a major burden, so that hurts too. All I do is make things worse. I struggle with the most ridiculous things. I kind of just feel like a waste of everything. I try to help you people but I’m no good at it. I forget to reply when people support me, I don’t know how to help people, and I get so overwhelmed and shut everyone out every now and again. I’m no good at being a friend, or a daughter, or a human in general. I feel so bad. I owe so many people so much. But here I am falling apart over the smallest, most ridiculous things, while contributing absolutely nothing to anyone. Will it ever stop being so hard?

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Comments

eylah

you matter to me. you matter ro the mix. you do matter. sry to hear that. here for you @AnonymousToe .

JJLemon18

AnonymousToe wrote: »

I’m no good at being a friend, or a daughter, or a human in general. I feel so bad. I owe so many people so much.

First of all, you don't owe anyone anything. Secondly, being a friend/daughter/human is not easy. Nobody is perfect, no matter how much it may seem that some people are. They don't teach you how to be a 'good' person. And looking at your posts, at the people you are surronded by, no wonder you find it so difficult to even just exist. The world is rigged again you, against all of us really, but that's not your fault. What is important is that, to many people, you are more than enough

sending hugs.

Always here for you

Amy22

I also agree with what @JJLemon18 said as you don't have to feel the need to owe anyone anything. Also, it's tough being a daughter and most importantly a human being. Always remember that you are human and that it is okay not to be 100% perfect all the time. You are always enough here and you matter a lot to me and everyone else here on TheMix. It sounds like you are struggling with dealing with things in your life and feeling the need to be perfect for others. But the truth is you don't have to be perfect for anyone at all, just make sure that you are okay first before putting others first I'd say. Sometimes the world is tough and super challenging at times and this is something I feel the most too. Also, I woulden't say you are lazy at all and I think the people in your life should ideally reconsider what they have been saying to you. Sometimes it's hard doing things and there is nothing wrong with not being able to do things. Sometimes we will feel lazy because we feel like we aren't doing enough but that's ok too. You don't have to be constantly doing a lot either, you also need to have time for yourself too. Im always here too if you ever need someone to chat to.

Sending virtual hugs

,

Amy22

Orchid059

Hi @AnonymousToe you are doing so well to reach out and the fact you are seeing support is something to be proud of! I can understand how difficult it all is for you at the moment- it sounds like you have got a lot on your plate. Remember how you feel is completely valid so try not to reduce your feelings as if they're not important because they are. You matter more than you realise.

Always here if you need a chat. Keep updating us with how you are getting on

AnonymousToe

Thank you so much everyone, it means a lot

jayne26

Hi @AnonymousToe I'm sure a lot of us can relate to what you're saying. Things will get better, sometimes it just takes time. Often a lot doesn't change at once, but gradually you might notice you start to feel a little better, day by day. Just try and take it one day at a time, that's all anyone can do

I'd love to know how you've been getting on a little more recently

AnonymousToe

Thank you @jayne26

I’m coping a little better now but I don’t really feel like I have control over my life. I kind of just do nothing… ever. I have no motivation. I guess I feel better (ish) but I’m not really doing anything. Kind of just feel like I’m failing at life

EmLiz

hey @AnonymousToe I'm glad to hear you're coping a bit better but sorry you feel like you don't have control at the moment. That sounds like a tricky place to be to try to take those of the positives in feeling a bit better, but still want things to keep improving.

I just wanted to say you are definitely not failing at life and your worth is not attached to what you do or don't do throughout the day

It's really natural when you aren't feeling in a good place to struggle with motivation - I know I definitely experience that too.

Is there anything in particular you've been wanting to do but struggling with? I always like to start really really small when I'm struggling with motivation and work my way from there!

AnonymousToe

It all just feels insurmountable. There are important things to be done but I just don’t have the motivation / energy for any of it. My parents get annoyed but I’m not doing this on purpose. Everything is slipping out of my control. How am I ever gonna manage at uni??!

Former Member

Big hugs @AnonymousToe. Maybe uni will be a fresh start for you and being away from some of what’s getting you down at home might suddenly motivate you? Fresh starts are really good for the mind. Idk buddy. I don’t want to put a positive spin on what you’re feeling right now because your feelings are valid and it’s okay to feel the way that you do. It can’t be easy that your parents are getting annoyed, it’s not your fault.

Whenever I’ve felt like that I’ve made small lists of what needs to be done and broken down tasks into smaller chunks, that way it feels more manageable and doesn’t drain your energy so much 💙

JJLemon18

Stumbling upon this post again, the title reminded me of this quote:

"Whenever you feel down and feel like nothing matters, you are scientifically incorrect... There can't be nothing. There is always matter, there is always something."

That's all I came here to say haha. It makes more sense with the context (if I remember correctly), that even in the vacuum of space where there is absolutely nothing, there are still many different particles floating about. Do with that what you will xD

Big hugs!