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TheNightmare
Posts: 2,596 Boards Guru
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Post edited by TheMix on
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It doesn't sound like your family members are worth your time of day if they put you down all the time, so it might be best to brush off their comments and advice because they don't sound like the sort of people worth listening to. If they truly cared and were supportive they wouldn't be so harsh on you all the time and "ganging up" on you. Even if they had doubts, there's a respectful way to go about bringing this up. I understand it can be really difficult especially if they're relatives but try not to let their words and actions get to you.
It sounds like you're struggling to find a peaceful and safe space just to exist without all the unsolicited comments etc. Do you have a local library you could go to? Or a local park to walk through? Or a beach? You could also try community spaces such as leisure centres etc?
I'm not sure if you're interested but volunteering could also buy you a few hours out of the house?
For when you're inside do you have any noise cancelling headphones/earphones? I've heard loop are quite good - it would give something to block out the noise:
https://loopearplugs.com/
Hope this helps and I hope things get better for you soon
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through all that. It's really so crap to see you trying so hard and then to hear that you get put down, especially by family.
It's great you're getting support from here and doing those confidence building courses. I know it's tough when you start feeling better and then get dragged down again ( I can really relate to this) but just remember you've got people who believe in you here and we're not going anywhere.
It sounds like you're doing everything you can to improve your situation, and that's something to be proud of mate. The job search can be brutal, especially when you're dealing with negative comments from family on top of it but every little step you take, every course you complete, is progress. It might not feel like it now, but you're moving forward.
I hope you don't mind me saying but I've seen so much progress in you since I first "met" you. You've matured a lot, and it's amazing how much easier you are to talk to and get along with now. Your growth is really noticeable here, and I just wanted to say how proud I am of the strides you've made. It's not easy to change and grow, especially under pressure, but you've been doing it.. like you really have! I know @leyla26 and others have noticed this change in you too.
Maybe try to focus more on the positive comments and support you're getting here and from the courses. It won't make the negative stuff disappear, but it might help balance it out a bit. And if you ever need to vent or talk, I'm here for you. I know that helps me, I have a tricky time with my family too and whenever I feel down about it, I come here and it helps even it out a little for me.
Have you thought about talking to the family members who are more supportive and explaining how much the negative comments are affecting you? Maybe they can help defend you or at least help the others understand what you're going through. It might not change everything overnight, but it's worth a shot.
Don't let the negative comments define you mate. You've got a lot going for you, and things will get better. Keep pushing through, and remember you've got people on your side. Just keep going.
Take care brother. We've got you 💙
I know and sure I’d never think you were making excuses. I know what I said is easier said than done
Talking about our feelings in general is difficult, let alone face to face with family members.
I have a lot of respect for you for even considering it and also because of how you continue to reach out here. It takes a lot of strength, particularly as a male 💙