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low. tw.

eylaheylah Posts: 4,213 Community Veteran
hi. im feeling low. idk what im supposed to do. suicidal. sh. i let everyone down. my mum. i am always alone. :heartbreak: . i will never be happy. i dont deserve be happy. loved. im a miseray. i feel so low. why im not having any fun. going out enjoying life. it feels like im going to be living like this forever. :(. i am so fuzzled. :(. sry.
keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍

Comments

  • SpaceOtterSpaceOtter Community Champion Posts: 890 Part of The Mix Family
    Hiya eylah,

    Im here to listen. Im glad you reached out, i know talking helps me feel less alone.

    Those are some really heavy thoughts. Im very sorry youre feeling like this.

    I know you may not believe me but
    You deserve to feel loved, to feel like you belong. You deserve the kindness you put out in the world.

    I hear you're feeling very low,would you like to talk more about it?

    Sending lots of hugs <3
    You're awesome!
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,213 Community Veteran
    thank you. @SpaceOtter . i feel like i am a let down. i am 3 weeks free. Zbut i feel like it’s hard to keep it that way. i keep getting palpitations. which is negatively affecting my mentally and physically. anxious for tomoz. have to call xray. feel like so much in my head. :(
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,213 Community Veteran
    edited June 30
    keep having arguements with her. it not nice. making me feel ill. :( my friend. she always a b*
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • Orchid059Orchid059 Moderator Posts: 285 The Mix Regular
    Hi @eylah well done for reaching out and you have nothing to apologise for because we are here for you. It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of emotions at once and I can understand how overwhelming that may be for you. If you feel comfortable sharing some of your thoughts/concerns, we can unpack them together and try to support you with some next steps moving forward.

    I would just like to check in with you that you are safe and not in any danger. If you have any concerns for your health or safety or need urgent support, the quickest way to get help is to call 999 or go to your nearest A&E.

    - Samaritans are always there 24/7 if you need to talk about anything that’s on your mind. You can call them on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org.
    - Crisis Messenger - are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text THEMIX to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
    - You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline who are open 24/7 anytime you would like someone to talk to.

    You are doing so well in seeking support and we are always here for you. You are just as worthy as anyone else in deserving happiness and to be loved- remember that <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,213 Community Veteran
    hi @Orchid059 . i am struggling with my mental health. trying getting support but being rejected. gp trying to help me. but i am left by myself. gp getting bloods regularly from me. i am ok. i feel like i am not getting anywhere. i hate myself. my apperence. i feel like i dont deserve to live. i feel horrible with heart pain. anxiety pain is real and hurts. i dint know why i am hurting like this. :heartbreak: .
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • Orchid059Orchid059 Moderator Posts: 285 The Mix Regular
    @eylah I am so sorry to hear this and that you feel that you are suffering alone. It is understandably so difficult to juggle your mental health as well as your physical health as often they feed off eachother. You mentioned you've been in touch with your GP, have they managed to help you in anyway or get you on the waiting list to see a mental health professional?

    I can understand how frustrating it is when you feel like there is little progress in recovery and we often find ourselves stuck in a vicious circle of mental health and physical health, but the fact that you are seeking help from a GP is all good steps in the right direction (little steps are still progress). You are in the best possible hands in helping you find solutions to your physical symptoms as well as if something were to flag with your blood results, so hopefully this puts your mind at ease.

    Is there anyone close to you that you trust to confide in, as sometimes sharing your thoughts and feelings with those closest to you can take the weight off your shoulders slightly. You mentioned your mum- has she been supportive through this with you?

    Remember, how you are feeling is completely valid and you do deserve happiness. Things may seem especially low at the moment but there is always hope and you will always have us by your side to support you.

    Please keep reaching out and updating us with how you are doing because we do truly care for your wellbeing <3

  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,213 Community Veteran
    hi. @Orchid059 . waiting on shout. suicidal. but no reply. yet sadly. :(
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,213 Community Veteran
    still no reply. so alone. :(
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,213 Community Veteran
    give up.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • AnonymousToeAnonymousToe Posts: 2,378 Boards Champion
    Please stay safe @eylah
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,213 Community Veteran
    in so much pain it hurts. ( safe ). cry myself sleep. if i can. :heartbreak:
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 411 Listening Ear
    Big hugs @eylah Sleep is always good, did you manage to get through to SHOUT? <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,213 Community Veteran
    sadly no. gave up with. so coped myself. <3. thank you.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 411 Listening Ear
    I'm really sorry you didn't manage to get through to them :( We're here for you if you need to vent or well, anything at all <3@eylah
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,213 Community Veteran
    same goes. @Slinky .<3. im just tired. tired of life. being alone. thank iyou. <3
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 411 Listening Ear
    I hear ya, I think I can definitely relate to that. I try and remind myself that It will get better. Maybe not tomorrow, next week or even next month but at some point in the future things will start to look up. I guess we have to just take each day as it comes and lean on our friends/family/whatever support we can get. We've got you @eylah and the community here will always be around if you need to talk <3
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,213 Community Veteran
    thank you. @Slinky . you got this. <3.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,213 Community Veteran
    horrible sick feeling. go away.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • SpaceOtterSpaceOtter Community Champion Posts: 890 Part of The Mix Family
    Heya @elyah sending so many hugs.
    Oh its such a lonely feeling, im sorry you're going through this.
    I can't change what you're going through. But im listening i promise.

    I wont suggest coping mechanisms, i imagine you already have lots from other organisations.
    I used to joke i could probably write a book on all the strategies they give you. Though i cant vouch for how well they all work.

    It sucks crying and fighting your silent battles while the rest of the country is asleep. It sucks but We're listening. <3
    You're awesome!
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,213 Community Veteran
    thank you. @SpaceOtter . i have to call xray in morn. but sleep non exsisent. :(
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,213 Community Veteran
    thank you. for helping me last night and this morning. @Orchid059 . @SpaceOtter . @Slinky snd @AnonymousToe . still feeling low. but im doing everything i can to be ok.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • GemmaGemma Community Manager Posts: 1,117 Wise Owl
    edited July 1
    Hey @eylah, it's really brave of you to be reaching out and looking for some support. I'm hearing how much you're going through and you're doing so well to keep talking. <3

    I can see that you've shared you're doing everything you can to be okay and that you've shared you're feeling like you can keep yourself safe on the hugs thread just now.

    Taking one day at a time is good advice - there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    The staff team will drop you a wee DM to check in. :)

    If you do feel like you're in need of urgent support, we would always urge you to reach out to crisis services. The Mix isn't set up to be a crisis service so we want to ensure you're directed to the best source of support for you. In those moments, we'd always encourage you to contact one of these lovely services below:
    *If you need urgent help or have any concerns for your health or safety, the quickest way to get help is to call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. 
    *Local urgent mental health helpline | Open 24/7 | Find details about your local service here.
    *Crisis Messenger - Our crisis messenger text service provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK. If you’re aged 25 or under, you can text THEMIX to 85258.
    *Papyrus - If you are having thoughts of suicide, you can contact HOPELINEUK for confidential support and practical advice. You can call them on 0800 068 4141 or text them on 07786209697.
    *Samaritans are reachable by phone and email 24/7. Whatever you're going through, you can call them any time, from any phone on 116 123.

    Sending lots of strength and hugs - keep us updated with how you're doing. <3
    ♡♡♡
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,213 Community Veteran
    thank you. @Gemma . i tried txting shout. but they never answered. i dislike calling. but i prefer txt services. thank you. you are so kind. <3
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • eylaheylah Posts: 4,213 Community Veteran
    is there anymore helplines like shout. as they take forever. but i get it. ppl are struggling which saddens me.
    keep your face always toward the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you. 🤍
  • GemmaGemma Community Manager Posts: 1,117 Wise Owl
    edited July 1
    I'm sorry to hear that @eylah - the staff team will drop you a DM just to check in and explore some of those further support options with you. <3
    ♡♡♡
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