If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Aged 16-25? Share your experience of using the discussion boards and receive a £25 voucher! Take part via text-chat, video or phone. Click here to find out more and to take part.
Options
Situation with another helpline
Creativeboy23
Posts: 206 Trailblazer
I have been feeling in a low mood.
Memories of negative experiences have been upsetting me. One of them was when my dad would tell me I was not ready for a partner whenever I was upset, making me feel criticised for feeling upset.
I shared this experience with a helpline. The volunteer asked if I thought that I was ready for a partner. So, it did not feel like she asked out of curiosity. It felt like she validated my dad’s comment, thinking it was said with a good intention. She accused me of saying that she criticised me for asking the question. I corrected her, but she did not acknowledge her error and how that made me feel enough. She did not apologise and went straight on to say that it is understandable to feel upset about that. It did not feel sincere.
She asked me about my support network and a strategy I could use to help me feel better. Then, she ended the chat. I did not feel she empathised enough with my emotional pain from my dad’s comment.
It is possible that she ran out of time to think of a response to give me because of the time limit for chats which can make it fitting mist of what tiy want to say. It can be easy to misunderstand one another via text message. She could have mistook the word "criticised" for me indicating that she was criticising me. I might have misunderstood her question because of the time she asked, but I am still angry. This is a reasonable way to feel.
Memories of negative experiences have been upsetting me. One of them was when my dad would tell me I was not ready for a partner whenever I was upset, making me feel criticised for feeling upset.
I shared this experience with a helpline. The volunteer asked if I thought that I was ready for a partner. So, it did not feel like she asked out of curiosity. It felt like she validated my dad’s comment, thinking it was said with a good intention. She accused me of saying that she criticised me for asking the question. I corrected her, but she did not acknowledge her error and how that made me feel enough. She did not apologise and went straight on to say that it is understandable to feel upset about that. It did not feel sincere.
She asked me about my support network and a strategy I could use to help me feel better. Then, she ended the chat. I did not feel she empathised enough with my emotional pain from my dad’s comment.
It is possible that she ran out of time to think of a response to give me because of the time limit for chats which can make it fitting mist of what tiy want to say. It can be easy to misunderstand one another via text message. She could have mistook the word "criticised" for me indicating that she was criticising me. I might have misunderstood her question because of the time she asked, but I am still angry. This is a reasonable way to feel.
Tagged:
1
Comments
How do you feel about giving feedback to the helpline you used? It sounds like your experience has stuck with you and this might help you move past it
I’d say the volunteer didn’t mean it the way it came across. They give their time to help us, they don’t want to upset us. I say they just wanted to keep the chat focused on you and how you’re feeling rather than the small hiccup. Miscommunications happen, they’re only human just like us .
Hello @Slinky.
Yes. Definitely. I have moved on from that now.
That is true.
Thank you for your support.
Hello @Issie_11.
I could have done it, but you usually get a different person when you use the helpline, and there is no guarantee that it will get sent. It does not matter now, though, as I moved on from that situation.
Thank you for your support.