Weird sibling situation (confused vent)

AnonymousToe

This is really complicated and I don’t know how to feel. Basically, one of my sister’s teachers referred her to the school counsellor. That makes me feel A LOT of things.

I’m incredibly reliant on a teacher from that school, we’ll call her Mrs A. She’s been listening to me and helping me through.. life 😂 for years now. But basically because of her job, Mrs A is gonna find out about my sister seeing this counsellor. I’m scared she’s gonna replace me. I don’t really know why I feel like that, but I’m scared Mrs A will end up close to my sister, closer than to me. I don’t wanna lose her. I don’t know where this whole thought of being replaced has come from. I guess because I’m a former student now, I’m worried my sister will be more important to Mrs A than I am, and that would hurt a lot.
I’m so confused why it bothers me this much though. I don’t know how to feel.
I’m worried about my sister and I feel like I’ve failed as her older sister. I let it reach this point. But also I don’t want Mrs A to forget all about me. I’m so confused.

Orchid059

Hi @AnonymousToe I can completely understand where you are coming from and you are allowed to feel the way you do. It is good to hear that you have had a good experience with a teacher who has supported and validated you, so perhaps your sister might benefit from a warm and supportive person to guide her through her school years. This doesn't necessarily mean she will replace you though as I am sure teachers remember the students they have had a lasting impact on. However, saying that I do understand that it may be difficult for you as you seem close with Mrs A.

I would suggest talking to your sister about your concerns and she might be able to reassure you. Also you have not failed as a sister, the fact that you care so much shows how you are such a kind a lovely person and I am sure she appreciates you very much.

Keep reaching out to us and remember you are never alone- we are always here for you

AnonymousToe

Orchid059 wrote: »

It is good to hear that you have had a good experience with a teacher who has supported and validated you, so perhaps your sister might benefit from a warm and supportive person to guide her through her school years.

I know, and I feel so bad for being bothered by it. I dont know what’s wrong with me
Thanks for the response

Orchid059

AnonymousToe wrote: »

Orchid059 wrote: »

It is good to hear that you have had a good experience with a teacher who has supported and validated you, so perhaps your sister might benefit from a warm and supportive person to guide her through her school years.

I know, and I feel so bad for being bothered by it. I dont know what’s wrong with me
Thanks for the response

Nothing to feel guilty about at all- it is perfectly reasonable to have an attachment to this teacher who helped you out so much. The important thing to remember though is that as a teacher it is part of her role to support and offer guidance to other students who are in a similar situation to yourself.

Sunshine12

@AnonymousToe u definitely shouldn't feel bad about feeling jealous about ur teacher being closer to ur sister, it's a totally normal response that anyone would feel if they had such a close relationship with their teacher. Every individual is different and I'm sure ur teacher will always remember u and clearly they care a lot for their students so it'd be great if ur sister could also receive such help. Sending lots of love

AnonymousToe

I guess I’m jealous that there are people to notice when my sister needs help, but nobody really notices how much I struggle. I hate having to pretend to be okay