What (if anything) actually helped you look after your mental health during your school years?

JustV

Curious what people's tried and tested advice would be for anyone else struggling.

JustV

Bonus question: how (if at all) has this community made a difference?

Amy22

Back when I was in secondary school, there was of a lot of neurodiverse students just like me who needed additional support to fully enjoy school and feel like we were being benefited by that support as well. We had what was called a nurture room where all of us could go anytime during break and lunchtime as well as it being run afterschool if we needed help with homework. I was in that nurture room since year 7 until year 12 so as I eventually went into sixth form I became like a nurture vetran and would help the staff support a lot of the years 7's and upwards. Honestly, for me the nurture room in my school was a life saver eventhough we had a head teacher who was making us constantly move the room around a lot so we would be in a different part of the building each year to the point where I was worried they were going to get rid of and I was like they can't just get rid of it because of the students who need that support and how on earth would they cope without a room?. Luckily and I'd like to think it is still running to this day now that I am an adult working in a full time apprenticeship.

Another thing I was very fortunate to have access to in my school was a 1:1 support. Due to being neurodiverse it meant that I was allowed a 1:1 in classes with me and they could help me write things down and explain to teachers if I got stressed or if I needed to take a break out of the classroom (this happened a lot from my experience because I was always put into classes where people would misbehave or caught arguments with teachers which would stress me out so I would have to be taken into the nurture room where I would continue doing my school work for that class). However, as I progressed through school years and our one senco leaving and having an english teacher become our new one the amount of support hours I had with my 1:1 got reduced drastically which meant that they woulden't always be in all the classes that I was in. I did find this hard a lot but I figure out a few coping stragies like imagining they were there with me.

I found after covid (I was in year 13 and I never went back to school to finish my exams or sixth form education eventhough I got teacher assessed grades), i was supposed to have support in my college. But quite supringly the support I was supposed to have in college wasn't that great. I had to book for a support appointment when I felt super anxious and my one 1:1 in college was good but got promoted to a different job. So that meant I had a new one. But they weren't very understanding like my other one and when I ask for a quiet room to talk confidentially (especially as I had a crisis moment with my anxiety because of a family member being severly ill in hospital and not knowing if they would ever come out) I was standing in the reception corridoor in the public talking about my anxiety out in the open!. I wish I was able to have a quiet room and the worse part was sometimes I need to book a meeting or wait until they were free which I understand. But they used to suspect I woulden't go to the meetings when I would and to only find out later that they were cancelled!. I had a lot of stress in college support wise and I found the support and appreciation I got from other students on my course (creative media) were more supportive than the 1:1 i was assigned in college. Like they just understood me and even I had a friend who hugged me and offered support. My other 1:1 would be sorry I can't see you right now and like they would be like I'm sure its that not bad when everything felt horrendous and bad.

I think for me I wish I discovered TheMix at a younger age when I was starting year 7 because I feel like it would have helped me a lot through certain situations as well as allowing me to learn about different subjects and topics which I am only just starting to learn about in my early twenties. I found TheMix through a mental health assessment team where a lady on a phone call suggested TheMix and I was reffered by my gp roughly during the summer of 2022 (I can't remember the date or year exactly but I was either 20 or 21 when I got sign posted here). I couldent have found a more nicer and accomodating internet family. I like to call TheMix my internet family from home because the amount of people I have met on here and have even supported are like family to me and that means so much to me personally on a deeper level. I think and this will sound probably super dramatic but TheMix saved my life especially when I keep punishing myself for my bad choices and mistakes. I did some bad things back then and I am trying to redeem myself for each mistake I made eventhough everyone even my teachers said what I did was okay and that I should move on. If it wasn't for TheMix I don't think I'd be where I am today or even doing the apprenticeship I am doing today. So I really owe everyone here a massive thank you and shoutout for all the amazing things you do and provide here. My parents are aware I use TheMix (my mum was present at my mental health assessment phone call when I get signposted here). My parents think TheMix has helped me so so much and also because I feel like it is easier for me to talk out my worries on here rather than just bothering my parents each night. It's also nice to be able to talk to people who are around similar ages because I feel like you can relate to an experience in some ways (eventhough this isn't always the case). I think even now my mum has started talking about TheMix to people who need support and tells people in my local neurodiversity hub for young people who may be struggling. I even now decided that I want to help more people through what ever they may be going through and i sometimes help out on here or in the support group sometimes. Honestly TheMix has been the best thing to have entered my life really and I will continue to support this charity as I am here and so will my family as well .

sinead276

i think my main tip for my mental health back when i was in high school was probably trying to keep school and home life separate as much as I can. I know there is crossover in terms of doing homework and talking to friends outside of school.

but like having set times i'd get my homework done and out the way, so i had the time to do things i enjoyed doing was probably beneficial for me. so basically ensuring i had the time to still have fun. also having supportive friends around me massively helped if i was struggling or having an off/down day

AnonymousToe

I’ve only fairly recently joined here and I’ve finished school so can’t comment on the use of the community. I can’t really say I managed to ‘take care’ of my mental health either, but I survived. 😂
I found keeping a journal to be useful, it helped to have someone to talk to (though it was literally just myself XD). And it was good to focus on something nice, and not get too consumed in school work. I gave myself things to look forward to when I got home from school or at the weekend or whatever. It made life more bearable lol

Former Member

I’m still in secondary school and this is what I’m doing at the moment. I keep my home and school life separate. At school, I have a safety plan which I and the staff members have to follow. As annoying as it can be, it is so helpful. I also volunteer for around 2 hours a week which distracts me from everything going on. Lastlyy, I try to spend time with my family and friends so I’m not isolating myself all the time.

Former Member

School badly affected my mental health as I was undiagnosed autistic and was bullied for most of my time there. I had counselling which gave me an outlet to vent about everything that was going on, so I felt slightly less alone. I think the biggest help though was coming home and cuddling with my pets. They always calmed me down after a bad day

AnonymousToe

I’m so sorry to hear that @indieviolet

SpaceOtter

Im not reccomemding this, but Honestly for me it was TV or movies.

It was different worlds i could fall into.
I liked reading too but i could watch tv and do other things at the same time.

I'd get really obsessed with things and learn everything i could. Id listen to the soundtrack and think about it at school. Id have my own characters too. It made me feel less alone. Instead of sitting alone being sad, I had this other world i retreated to.

And shows that i could see myself in made me feel less broken. There was one in particular (Heavy TW if you watch it) Mr robot.
The main character dealt with alot of things i didnt, but he had social anxiety.

Throughout the show he talked to the audience. I used to do that in my head, monologuing the day made it feel less sad. And rain doesn't feel so miserable when you're pretending your in a dramatic film.

It was super dorky. But it was how i coped.

There were two scenes that made me feel seen. When he went to a party got to the door, heard all the noise and saw all the people and left.

And then another where he was crying in his room and said he wish knew how to hold in his sadness.
"I just want a way out of loneliness " was something i felt deeply.

Those characters kept me company through school.

Amy22

SpaceOtter wrote: »

Im not reccomemding this, but Honestly for me it was TV or movies.

It was different worlds i could fall into.
I liked reading too but i could watch tv and do other things at the same time.

I'd get really obsessed with things and learn everything i could. Id listen to the soundtrack and think about it at school. Id have my own characters too. It made me feel less alone. Instead of sitting alone being sad, I had this other world i retreated to.

And shows that i could see myself in made me feel less broken. There was one in particular (Heavy TW if you watch it) Mr robot.
The main character dealt with alot of things i didnt, but he had social anxiety.

Throughout the show he talked to the audience. I used to do that in my head, monologuing the day made it feel less sad. And rain doesn't feel so miserable when you're pretending your in a dramatic film.

It was super dorky. But it was how i coped.

There were two scenes that made me feel seen. When he went to a party got to the door, heard all the noise and saw all the people and left.

And then another where he was crying in his room and said he wish knew how to hold in his sadness.
"I just want a way out of loneliness " was something i felt deeply.

Those characters kept me company through school.

Honestly you way you described your coping mechanism through school was actually also the same way I coped in a way too. I was constantly living in my head 24/7 whether that be in a favourite TV show universe or one I made entirely of my own. I found that most characters I watched were similar to me too. I often found it relaxing knowing there were characters similar to me. A comfort show of mine probably has to be Dirk Gentlys Holistic Detective Agency because the main character was so energetic and like me quite hyper at times, but very observant and great at problem solving.

I even made up my own universes where I was in but I was a more confident person and was able to talk to people and have conversation. I was the person I wanted to be. I love thinking of worlds and imagining myself in my fav films or TV shows. Right now I am kind of watching Gotham and relate a lot of to the character Edward Nygma (I do feel like he is a fiction kin of mine in a way) because of how he also deals with socialising and his special interest being puzzles and riddles. It's what has made me interested in puzzles and completing them too.