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Something I like that I feel bad about

Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,778 The Mix Elder
Hey so this will be a strange post again from me. I prbably already posted something like this before previously. So like I have a weird hyperfixation which is to do with odd bodies and nblueberry fruit tf stories on devinart and I found someone wrote a book too on amazon about it. parts of it I like but then I feel weird that I read these stories. I feel like sometimes I am tourturing myself with them in a way. Is it normal for someone like me to read these stories I also read animal tf's and furry stories. I just feel like I am a creepy perv sometimes if you get what I mean. Its like there is another side of me who enjoys that stuff and then the person who hates it. I feel strange. Again sorry for my rant.....
Just a person who likes pop culture and films

Comments

  • ameliaJayneameliaJayne Deactivated Posts: 94 Budding Regular
    Hi @Amy22 !

    There is nothing wrong with reading different genres of books. Even if the genre of books that you read aren't popular or read by lots of people that doesn't make you weird! It can be good to be different!

    I cant say I know too much about these particular books. Would you be happy to tell me more about them? What in particular makes you feel like you hate them or feel weird when you read them?
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,778 The Mix Elder
    Aw thank you @ameliaJayne its that the thing I am into sometimes can get raised eyebrows if you know what I mean. The thing is like is a bit risque you see.
    So basically I am obssessed with the blueberry inflation scene in Charlie and the Chocolate factory and always have been since like I was a little kid. But now when I read or watch videos it makes me cringe so so hard and I don't know why. I put this in a spoiler because I don't know if people will be triggered or not
    . I don't know why I am obssessed with transformation fics on devinart or inflation stories. I feel like odd sometimes. Thanks though for reaching out to me thats very kind <3. Im just being a silly billy really aren't I?.
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,778 The Mix Elder
    do feel like I do it normally when I am on TheMix though dont know why probably because I can tell myself off or something am I being weird?. Right we need to stop now amy
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • ameliaJayneameliaJayne Deactivated Posts: 94 Budding Regular
    Your feelings are definitely not silly!

    As long as the things that you read make you happy and don't put you or anyone at risk, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it! If reading or watching something makes you cringe you don't have to watch it too, its okay to change your mind about things. For example if one day you feel like reading it and the next day it doesn't make you feel good just do whatever feels right for you on that particular day.

    Do you feel like taking this mindset would be helpful?
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,778 The Mix Elder
    Aw thanks @ameliaJayne I guess maybe I was thinking about it all wrong I don't think I use it to harm others really it's just a weird hyperfixation of mine that I keep secrect.
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,577 Part of The Furniture
    Amy22 wrote: »
    Its like there is another side of me who enjoys that stuff and then the person who hates it. I feel strange.
    Is there a chance that the person who hates it is actually just internalised shame?

    I've seen a couple of your posts on this @Amy22 and, while I'm not sure if you're comortable calling it a kink(?), I wanted to say it's okay to talk about kinks freely here without shame or judgement. It's really normal to discover these things at different points in your life.

    It's also really normal for there to be part of you that thinks it's gross, dirty, etc. Society demonises 'sexual deviance' and sometimes that's even more the case for women folk. Then we internalise some of that growing up and it turns into shame when we develop those interests.

    You said TF and am I right in thinking that's 'transformation fetish'?

    Just like other kinks and fetishes, there's a huge community online of people who are into furry art and similar stuff - it's definitely not just you. It sounds like you already discovered some of that community on Deviant Art. People are taken by all sorts of things.

    You like what you like and we don't have much control over that. As @ameliaJayne said, if you're not hurting anyone and it makes you happy, there's no issue at all. :)
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
    The truth resists simplicity.
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,778 The Mix Elder
    JustV wrote: »
    Amy22 wrote: »
    Its like there is another side of me who enjoys that stuff and then the person who hates it. I feel strange.
    Is there a chance that the person who hates it is actually just internalised shame?

    I've seen a couple of your posts on this @Amy22 and, while I'm not sure if you're comortable calling it a kink(?), I wanted to say it's okay to talk about kinks freely here without shame or judgement. It's really normal to discover these things at different points in your life.

    It's also really normal for there to be part of you that thinks it's gross, dirty, etc. Society demonises 'sexual deviance' and sometimes that's even more the case for women folk. Then we internalise some of that growing up and it turns into shame when we develop those interests.

    You said TF and am I right in thinking that's 'transformation fetish'?

    Just like other kinks and fetishes, there's a huge community online of people who are into furry art and similar stuff - it's definitely not just you. It sounds like you already discovered some of that community on Deviant Art. People are taken by all sorts of things.

    You like what you like and we don't have much control over that. As @ameliaJayne said, if you're not hurting anyone and it makes you happy, there's no issue at all. :)

    I think @JustV that it could be actually internilised shame really that I am too scared to maybe confront myself. I feel like there might be something wrong for liking what I like. I think as I partially identify as female, woman having kinks or interests such as even reading steamy romance or smut gets often shame or feel bad about it. TF stands for transformation fetish which is something I read a lot because it stems back to my interest of chocolate and the chocolate factory where the character Violet turns in a blueberry. But like its weird to think a kid from that film would inspire the TF community in general which I find creepy but like idk. I feel very perverted for doing so. Thank you so much for talking to me about this @JustV as I am so unsure of myself and scared of myself and my brain at times. I really appreciate the kind words.
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,778 The Mix Elder
    @JustV I got a kink and I like the charcter Violet in Charlie and I read fiction of it im so weird *I did it again last night and now I have come on here I hate myself sorry*
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
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