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TW - Eating problems
AnonymousToe
Posts: 2,381 Boards Champion
This is a very long story, so I’ll try and be brief.
First I stopped eating at school because of my social anxiety. Then (TW)
Fast forward to now, I’ve left school and I’m at home all the time. A few months ago I was really struggling and (TW)
For some reason I still struggle to eat properly now. I don’t have the energy to find something to eat, I get full really quickly and I just don’t like eating in general. I’m very picky and it sounds childish and stupid but I don’t know how to change that. My sleeping is messed up too (lol, obviously, posting this at almost 3am) so I end up missing breakfast and getting hungry late at night. I already struggle enough with insomnia so I don’t eat late in the evening in case that makes it worse.
It’s just a load of little things that have built up over years and now I’m terrified of how bad my health really is. I don’t know if I’m doing damage to myself, but I’m not doing it on purpose. (TW)
First I stopped eating at school because of my social anxiety. Then (TW)
I withheld food to punish myself.
I kind of got over that last thing with some help, but still couldn’t eat at school so I just kept losing weight.Fast forward to now, I’ve left school and I’m at home all the time. A few months ago I was really struggling and (TW)
felt like I didn’t deserve to eat
That was a terrifying experience and I’m still getting over it, but I don’t feel that way anymore.For some reason I still struggle to eat properly now. I don’t have the energy to find something to eat, I get full really quickly and I just don’t like eating in general. I’m very picky and it sounds childish and stupid but I don’t know how to change that. My sleeping is messed up too (lol, obviously, posting this at almost 3am) so I end up missing breakfast and getting hungry late at night. I already struggle enough with insomnia so I don’t eat late in the evening in case that makes it worse.
It’s just a load of little things that have built up over years and now I’m terrified of how bad my health really is. I don’t know if I’m doing damage to myself, but I’m not doing it on purpose. (TW)
I’ve found gaining weight to be so difficult. I lose it by accident but can’t gain even when I try.
People get annoyed with me about it but I don’t like feeling hungry / exhausted all the time. I’d change it if I could, it just feels completely impossible. Does anyone know how to start eating more? I really don’t think I have an eating disorder, but I can’t work out what this is. I feel so alone in it, and I’m so afraid of what’s to come if I can’t sort this out.
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Comments
It sounds like you've been struggling with this for a really long time and I'm proud of you for having the courage to reach out
You do not sound childish or stupid at all, our eating and sleeping habits can be very tricky to change.
It's really positive that you are still reaching out for support despite others being frustrated when you have brought this up in the past, I am wondering if you've felt able to talk to anyone else you know who may be a bit more understanding and supportive of you? Your parents or maybe a trusted friend?
I've added a link to the charity Beat which may be able to offer some more support tailored to improving eating habits and next steps: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/about-eating-disorders/do-i-have-an-eating-disorder
I've also linked an article on improving sleep via relaxation techniques and other methods which you might find helpful: https://www.themix.org.uk/mental-health/looking-after-yourself/how-can-i-sleep-better-at-night-45157.html
Let me know how you get on and remember that you're not alone in this