Sister being sisters or sexual assault? (Possible sa trigger)

Distraction

I'm not sure if I was sa by my sister or if it was just siblings being siblings but I remembered a memory from years back recently.

My sister was 4 years older, I was around 8/9, both fully clothed we were on her bottom bunk, I can't remember what was exactly said but she told me to lay down, she was on top and moved up and down on me, I can't remember what my emotions were about the situation at the time

Few years later I confronted her about it, she wasn't happy and walked off, I think she denied it, I'm not too sure

Is this just sisters being sisters? I know it's rather vague and not a lot happened in it, it isn't a big thing but I was just wondering if she was wrong

HollyPearl

Hi @Distraction, thanks so much for sharing this. It can be really difficult to worry that you might have been sexually assaulted in the past and to feel unclear about the details in your memory. It was so brave of you to speak to your sister and ask her what happened, even if she wasn't able to talk to you about it at the time.

Is there anyone else in your life that you might feel comfortable speaking to about this? It can help to confide in someone you trust and ask them to support you while you are working through this. Remember that we are all here for you as well and believe what you are telling us

If you're trying to work out what happened and whether it was sexual assault, you might find this article useful: https://www.themix.org.uk/crime-and-safety/victims-of-crime/was-it-sexual-assault-9145.html

There are also lots of different people/organsiations who will be able to to help you:

• The rape and sexual abuse support line run by Rape Crisis England and Wales – you can call the helpline on 0808 500 2222 or use the online chat (both are free and are open 24 hours a day, every day of the year).
• You can contact Childline about any issue and there are lots of different ways to get support.
• You could talk to a teacher or member of school/college/university staff who you trust.
• You can also speak to a doctor or practice nurse at your GP surgery.
• You could sign up for some counselling which can really help you to work through your feelings in a safe and confidential space. You can sign up for up to eight sessions of free counselling with The Mix here.
• The Mix has a support circle for survivors of sexual violence and you can find out more about it here.

Another helpful way of processing things might be to write it down in a journal or write a letter to yourself. This can help you to sort through your thoughts and to be a bit clearer on how you feel about it all.

I hope you find this helpful and remember that you are not alone in working through this - we are all here to listen