If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Hurtful comments from my brother and work issues
I have been working as a bartender in the Christmas market. I have been feeling isolated and left behind as an autistic employee. The working environment does not accommodate my needs. I have spoken to higher-up management and was told it would be passed on to the managers, but they have not informed me that it has been shared with them. So, I have had to chase it up. It feels like I have been going back and forth. I understand it can be pretty hard for some workplaces to make adjustments, but employers are supposed to explain why some may not be reasonable. It has been promising, though, that I have been able to adapt. I have managed to work under pressure when taking and giving orders and shown great attention to detail, ensuring cups were stacked evenly. Still, it does not mean it is okay that they are not making adjustments and that I should not be upset about the situation.
I was having resentful thoughts about how my managers and an employee treated me.
Another situation got on top of my mood. My dad assumed I went to open a new drink when I took the opened drink. My brother asked if I was a woman and said I get upset over everything. He said I am a mardy person, my friends will drop me and asked me if I think a woman will want to stay with you if I get upset over everything. He said I will be ringing my mum in the future, and asked me what I would do when my mum is not here you are going to have to be independent to make me feel weak for asking for support as a man. He criticised me for masking my feelings from him and my dad when they made nasty comments to criticise my feelings. My dad said it was silly that I was upset which felt invalidating.
My brother’s comments have made me isolated, lose confidence in my interactions with these girls at my workplace and trust in the validity of my feelings. I know it is not true about what my brother said about my sensitivity. There will be some people out there who will appreciate me for who I am. As my sensitivity means caring about people's feelings, a woman would be attracted to that and that may draw her to have a relationship with me. It is possible my dad intended to be supportive when he told me that there was already an opened drink and that I projected past negative experiences with him into the situation but regardless it is valid to feel he jumped to conclusions. He could have been saying that there will be people who do not understand my sensitivity like himself but put it across bluntly but it does not make his comments okay.