Work issues and feeling invalidated by my mum

Creativeboy23

Hello.

Towards the end of last night’s shift, a staff member cut me off telling me I should collect the glasses as if I was standing around not doing anything, when I explained to him what I done. Another staff member told me I had to do the bins and the other staff member smiled which seemed insincere. It just felt like they dropped a task on me. The situation brought up memories of how my manager was with me and reminded me of the staff not following up on my autism and adjustments.

I did not want to open up my feelings at work because I was worried my dad would make comments to criticise my feelings because he has in the past. I appreciate that the past cannot be undone. All I can do is move forward but it does not mean what he done was okay and it is valid to be worried. He asked me if there any others were asked to do the bin. I told him that others usually take the bins out but I was assigned a different kind of bin. So, I felt he suggested that it was not a problem and that he asked me questions to criticise.

My mum said she does not know what else to do and that I have soon finished. She told me not worry about it and that next time I should not do this type of job. So, I felt unsupported, invalidated, invisible, isolated, unheard, blamed and that the staff’s behaviour was being supported. I felt my parents brushed the situation under the carpet. They watched a programme and talked through it. I felt my mum treated the situation as unimportant because I am almost finished.

My experience brought up thoughts such as staff and friends joining in with my parents, someone telling me that my parents do not want to focus on my situation, a staff member correcting me on something which came across as blaming me for my negative experience at work etc. I can acknowledge that they are just thoughts and are not true. I do not want to give them power but they should be acknowledged and are valid. However, it is highly unlikely my mum intended to make me feel those feelings. She just was trying to be supportive and did not want me to be upset for Christmas and hurt again if I do a similar job. My dad probably did not intend to come across the way he did. I also think there may have been a misunderstanding about the bin situation but my feelings are valid regardless. It is possible that the staff member did not see me working but standing. So, he thought that I did not do anything, even though he should not have assumed. Looking at the whole picture will not eliminate my feelings.

EmmaLou30

Hi @Creativeboy23
I think you are completely correct in what you are saying The way you are feeling is completely valid, even when you look at the whole picture! Feelings and emotions cannot just be switched off, and I think you are incredibly strong for voicing that.

I promise that if the situation is important to you, then it is an important situation Is there any way you could speak to your parents again, perhaps reiterating that it matters to you and that you needed their support? Your voice should not go unheard

I hope all goes well, the community are here for you whenever you need us

Creativeboy23

Hello @EmmaLou30.

It is okay now. The situation has been resolved.

Thanks.

EmmaLou30

Hi @Creativeboy23 ! That is brilliant to hear !

I am glad all is well

Creativeboy23

Hello @EmmaLou30.

👍🏾👍🏾.