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Can’t orgasm, advice please
confused_dot_com
Posts: 1 Just got here
So I need some help. I’m 36 (nearer 37) and have never had an orgasm. You read that right, I said never. I’m not here to be made to feel stupid or uncomfortable, I just need some help I guess. I’m married, and gay (does that make a difference?) I’ve had sex with both men and women in the past and neither made a difference. I’ve tried toys, masturbation, and porn.. On a medical note I have been to my GP and she has checked everything out and said there appears nothing wrong with my organs and thinks it’s in my head. I am on meds for anxiety and depression, which I know can cause issues, but it doesn’t explain the other 25 years which I wasn’t on meds and it still didn’t work!
Sex with my wife is good when she allows me it, but we haven’t had sex in over a year. I think a lot of it is down to her self confidence issues around her body, but she told me she feels guilty when she cums because she can’t make me do it. In turn this made me feel pretty shit. I feel like it’s my fault she doesn’t want to have sex with me, when I know realistically it’s probably not. But it’s in my mind.. I’ve also started questioning recently whether I might be trans.. so maybe it is my fault?!
Sex with my wife is good when she allows me it, but we haven’t had sex in over a year. I think a lot of it is down to her self confidence issues around her body, but she told me she feels guilty when she cums because she can’t make me do it. In turn this made me feel pretty shit. I feel like it’s my fault she doesn’t want to have sex with me, when I know realistically it’s probably not. But it’s in my mind.. I’ve also started questioning recently whether I might be trans.. so maybe it is my fault?!
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You've done a really brave thing by sharing all of this with us. I can hear how this is causing some tension in your relationship with your wife, and how you're beginning to question your gender. That's a lot for one person to be holding - how does it feel to have shared it with us here? We really do appreciate your trust in opening up
Here at The Mix, we're a support service designed specifically for young people under the age of 25. That means that the lived experience that exists within this community may not be best placed to support you at the moment. We want to make sure that you can access the appropriate support that you deserve, so I've shared below a few organisations who you might be interested in:
Thank you again for reaching out for support, and I hope you're able to seek the support that you deserve.
Take good care @confused_dot_com,
Harry