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Neurodivergent Masking ♡

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 79 Budding Regular
Heya everyone! 😊

Let's chat about masking – something many of us neurodivergent folks deal with. It's tough living in a world that doesn't always get our brains. Growing up in a neurotypical setting can make you feel misunderstood, and sometimes people label you as "weird" or "strange." That pushes many of us to hide our true selves and act like everyone else just to "fit in."

But you know what? Constantly wearing this mask is exhausting. Trying to seem 'normal' just to shake off those labels takes a toll.

To my fellow neurodivergent friends reading this, you're awesome. We're all unique in our own way, and that's a good thing. 🫶 Don't let negativity define you. Your real, unmasked self is fantastic and deserves all the love in the world!

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*I started this thread to spread awareness and create a space for people to share their experiences, what works for them, and to feel more connected + understood. 💜*

Let's firstly start with, what is masking?

In neurodiversity, masking means hiding your neurodivergent traits to fit in with what people think is the 'norm'. It's about changing how you act, feel, or behave to avoid sticking out or getting judged. Masking might help deal with things, and can be a coping strategy for many but it can also make you feel really drained and like you're not being your authentic self.

Many people, especially those with autism and adhd, mask. People may make comments due to this such as "you don't seem neurodivergent" and do not understand the impact masking can have when you're out of the environment you've been masking in.

Personally for me, masking all day can lead to me feeling overstimulated, overwhelmed, disconnected from myself and mentally exhausted. Even after all of this masking is still something I feel I need to do. Not only because I was to fit in, but also because I have masked for so long.
What if people don't like the unmasked version of me? What if they think im faking it? I mean, I have been hiding under this mask for so long. Do I even know my true self?

It's hard, and can take time to unmask, learn yourself to accommodate to your needs and be your authentic self. But its so worth it :)

I wanted to share some things I've been doing, to unmask and things that have been helpful for me. It would be great if any of you feel comfortable sharing any things they have tried, or want to try also 💜
-Creating a safe space! When going somewhere new, I always plan out where I can go to calm down or a plan if I'm feeling overwhelmed. Instead of staying in that situation and making myself just "deal with it" I take myself out of the situation. For example, saying I need to step out and get some fresh air at a party.
-Not forcing eye contact. Something I have done for ages is forcing myself to make eye contact, even though it feels super uncomfortable for me and I dislike it so much! Recently I've not been making myself maintain it when I'm not comfortable doing so. If others comment I try explain this to them, that eye contact is something I struggle with. I'm not being rude :)
-Stimming! Stimming is awesome, helpful and can help so much with self regulating. It's not weird, it's not something that needs to be hidden. It's normal and totally okay to do (: happy stim awayyyy

(( Please do feel free to share any experiences you have, add onto this thread or share some reminders and messages for other neurodivergent humans here 🫂 it would be awesome to hear from you all! ))

I wanted to end with some reminders for all the lovely neurodivergent folk reading 🫶

Your authetic self is awesome and deserves lots of love and care. 💜 You are just as important as everyone else!

True friends appreciate you for who you are. They listen and get you.

Be nice to yourself. Masking is tough, and unmasking after trying to fit in for so long is hard also. You're doing great.

You're not alone; there are cool people who understand the struggle of masking. We're here for each other. 🌟

It's always okay to ask for accommodations and accommodate yourself

Have a lovely day
:)

Comments

  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,836 The Mix Elder
    Thank you so much for sharing these tips @cc_ilaria.

    I find that I mask heavily everyday, and at home is when I can take off that mask and be myself. I am slowly trying to be myself more especially at work too where I realised a lot of people have accepted which has taken me a while to get used to. Like right now I am listening to music and I can be myself. I tend to stim in work but I hide this through fiddling with a pen. I recently bought myself a 3D printed skull which I bought from a independant artist and I use it as a stim as I can feel the texture as well as using as a pen pot. I tend to rob the stationary though, they are my favourite stim :).
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
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