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The Mix's guide to why people bully
Gemma
Community Manager Posts: 702 Part of The Mix Family
It's Anti-Bullying Week - a time to come together and have discussions about what bullying means to us, how banter can turn into something more hurtful, and what we can do to stop bullying.
From emotional neglect to media influence, social problems to low self-esteem, there are many reasons that people choose to bully. Viktoria (18) has created the below to guide to why people bully. You can also read the full article written by Viktoria here.
If you have experienced bullying or know someone who has, what coping techniques would you share with those currently being bullied? 💛
Let us know in the comments below 👇
Alt text in spoiler below:
You can also view the post over on our Instagram page - https://www.instagram.com/themixuk
From emotional neglect to media influence, social problems to low self-esteem, there are many reasons that people choose to bully. Viktoria (18) has created the below to guide to why people bully. You can also read the full article written by Viktoria here.
If you have experienced bullying or know someone who has, what coping techniques would you share with those currently being bullied? 💛
Let us know in the comments below 👇
Alt text in spoiler below:
Why do people bully?
Those of us who have experienced bullying, or have seen its effects on our loved ones, know all too well how confusing and upsetting it can be. We often ask ourselves, why do people bully others?
Many of us tend to believe it's our fault if we're bullied. This couldn't be further from the truth. Research has shown that the cause is always connected to the person displaying bullying behaviour.
Why do people bully others?
Bullying to feel a sense of approval
One reason for bullying can often be an attempt for power, dominance and worth. Those of us who show this type of behaviour have often struggled in our lives, resulting in a desire to feel superior to others.
This leads us to attempt to "put down" others, typically through some type of embarrassment. If others join in their behaviour, we begin to feel a sense of superiority and social approval.
Bullying because you have been bullied
The common pattern of people who have experienced bullying starting to bully themselves can be an attempt to experience a sense of power after being stripped of it within our own experiences.
Inflicting a similar pain to one we have experienced is a defence mechanism; we believe that by bullying others, we will be immune to being bullied ourselves. Unfortunately, this creates a vicious cycle.
Bullying to cope with low self-esteem
Those of us struggling with insecurities move the negative attention from ourselves to others as a way of hiding how we feel about ourselves.
The types of bullying behaviour we engage in, such as insults, often reflect the types of thoughts we have about ourselves. For instance, if we are struggling with insecurities about our appearance, we could deflect this by insulting others on their appearance.
How can we be empathetic to those who bully?
The reasons people might bully are not an excuse. However, it can be helpful to be empathetic when we experience bullying or see it happening.
By being aware of the common reasons why bullying happens and understanding that it often comes from a place of stress and trauma, it's easier to switch our response to empathy rather than feelings of anger or despair.
How can being empathetic help us?
Other ways to deal with bullying
Speak to someone - anyone. It's important to allow yourself to express your feelings and find support.
Attempt to resolve the situation with the person displaying the bullying behaviour, only if it is safe enough to do so. Having someone with you can be helpful.
Focus on your stress levels. Try the 4-7-8 breathing method, which involves inhaling for 4 seconds, holding for 7 seconds and exhaling for 8.
Support for bullying
Further support is available through multiple helplines. It can help to simply have someone to talk to.
Those of us who have experienced bullying, or have seen its effects on our loved ones, know all too well how confusing and upsetting it can be. We often ask ourselves, why do people bully others?
Many of us tend to believe it's our fault if we're bullied. This couldn't be further from the truth. Research has shown that the cause is always connected to the person displaying bullying behaviour.
Why do people bully others?
- Having low self-esteem and wanting to feel better about ourselves
- Struggling with mental health issues, such as depression
- Feelings of anger, jealousy and low self-esteem
- Having experienced bullying ourselves
- Being emotionally neglected
- Wanting to improve our social status
- Social problems
- Media influences
- A culture of bullying behaviour
Bullying to feel a sense of approval
One reason for bullying can often be an attempt for power, dominance and worth. Those of us who show this type of behaviour have often struggled in our lives, resulting in a desire to feel superior to others.
This leads us to attempt to "put down" others, typically through some type of embarrassment. If others join in their behaviour, we begin to feel a sense of superiority and social approval.
Bullying because you have been bullied
The common pattern of people who have experienced bullying starting to bully themselves can be an attempt to experience a sense of power after being stripped of it within our own experiences.
Inflicting a similar pain to one we have experienced is a defence mechanism; we believe that by bullying others, we will be immune to being bullied ourselves. Unfortunately, this creates a vicious cycle.
Bullying to cope with low self-esteem
Those of us struggling with insecurities move the negative attention from ourselves to others as a way of hiding how we feel about ourselves.
The types of bullying behaviour we engage in, such as insults, often reflect the types of thoughts we have about ourselves. For instance, if we are struggling with insecurities about our appearance, we could deflect this by insulting others on their appearance.
How can we be empathetic to those who bully?
The reasons people might bully are not an excuse. However, it can be helpful to be empathetic when we experience bullying or see it happening.
By being aware of the common reasons why bullying happens and understanding that it often comes from a place of stress and trauma, it's easier to switch our response to empathy rather than feelings of anger or despair.
How can being empathetic help us?
- It allows us to shut down the idea that we are responsible for the bullying we experience
- Empathy and understanding are not the desired reactions, which could lead to a decrease of the behaviour
- It promotes creating stronger, healthier relationships that can help reduce bullying
Other ways to deal with bullying
Speak to someone - anyone. It's important to allow yourself to express your feelings and find support.
Attempt to resolve the situation with the person displaying the bullying behaviour, only if it is safe enough to do so. Having someone with you can be helpful.
Focus on your stress levels. Try the 4-7-8 breathing method, which involves inhaling for 4 seconds, holding for 7 seconds and exhaling for 8.
Support for bullying
Further support is available through multiple helplines. It can help to simply have someone to talk to.
- The Diana Award's support and advice
- National Bullying Helpline | Call 0300 323 0169, 9am-5pm Monday-Friday
- The Diana Award Crisis Messenger Service | Text DA to 85258
- Childline | Call 0800 1111
- The Mix's Support Team
You can also view the post over on our Instagram page - https://www.instagram.com/themixuk
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