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If I get diagnosed with bpd is that my whole life over?

IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 933 Part of The Mix Family
in Health & Wellbeing
Alot of people say it's one of the worst mental illnesses (not in the way of competition) but with constant hospitalisations - I've had 3 already. I'm just so scared for my future and how horrific I've heard it is, I'm so scared, I don't want to feel like this the rest of my life

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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,515 Skive's The Limit
    edited November 2023
    Na life wouldn’t be over because it doesn’t matter if your diagnosised or not, if have it, you have it. Any diagnosis has the potential to cause self fullfing prophecy though and could increase symptoms. and a diagnosis of bpd is hard to removed and you can get treated differently with it, ie by professionals. But some people find diagnosis helpful in what they might need to look into to improve or things might make sense on what things upset you and start realise triggers ect.

    But if have it then doesn’t mean life is over, like with any disorder some people are affected worse than others and it can also improve with time once you learn how to tolerate distress & emotions & become more self aware


    Edit Sorry looking at other replies I think I took what you said too literal about the diagnosis part

    But yeah no life isn’t over. It’s a hard illness to live with but definitely doesn’t mean Life is over
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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    JellyelephantJellyelephant Posts: 1,878 Extreme Poster
    Hey Ian,

    I’ve got a diagnosis of bpd and I understand where you’re coming from - there is such a lot of stigma surrounding it. I think it’s worth saying there’s definitely hope for people with bpd, it doesn’t have to be that way you describe forever. I know for me, getting the right meds and being in the right therapy has helped me no end to the point I’m now at uni training to be a MH nurse myself. It can take time to get the right treatment for you, and a lot of hard work, but I wanted to just emphasise that it doesn’t make you a lost cause… you can recover and make a life worth living.

    Take care
    Jelly
    The sun will rise and we will try again 
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    catherines03catherines03 Posts: 29 Boards Initiate
    Hi @IainJammyboy sorry to hear you're having a tough time and I hope you've recovered from your hospitalisations okay. I haven't been diagnosed with BPD but a couple of my friends have been, and yes, it does present challenges, but I can also tell you that they experience full, fulfilling lives and are some of the kindest people I've ever met.

    Whatever you're feeling now is temporary and will pass. It's totally valid to feel scared when receiving a diagnosis but try and see it as a tool to better understand yourself and help yourself to meet your needs better. Hopefully having a diagnosis can help your care team support you better and find coping skills and possibly medication that will help your recovery journey.

    It might also help to follow positive BPD accounts on Instagram or TikTok - yes, BPD gets a lot of negative media attention, but there are lots of people living and even thriving with it, hospital-free. I love Sabrina Flores' account, she talks about BPD and healthy coping skills in a realistic yet positive way.

    I hope this is helpful, and remember The Mix is a safe space to share however you're feeling

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    IainJammyboyIainJammyboy Posts: 933 Part of The Mix Family
    edited November 2023
    @Siena cheers, but I just think it's cause the NHS and all these professionals just class me as a lost cause or too much work and just don't do anything. The last time I left hospital I was just told by the crisis team to go get a McDonalds and find ways to cope with it on my own. Only really have a single friend and developing an eating disorder but no one seems to care. All I'm told is to fix it myself - but I don't know how - All they want to do is to sedate me with really bad m medication with horrific side effects. I haven't been happy in over two years now but I don't know what to do. I was bawing my eyes out Infront of the psychiatrist in the hospital begging her to help me but she was just giggling at some stupid joke her co-worker told her and left me. I just don't know what I should or even can do at this point
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    Emma_Emma_ Community Manager Posts: 599 Incredible Poster
    Thought I'd share my 2 cents here too!

    As the others have said having a diagnosis of BPD does not mean your life is over. The diagnosis does come with some unfair prejudice from professionals that can make getting support harder and more energy consuming. But it does not mean your life is over.

    Fun fact, there are many stats about BPD recovery, and they all depend on the support that is available. Studies have shown recovery rates to be between 33% - 99%, which I know is a very big varying difference but it also shows hope that it is possible to not have this diagnosis forever.

    I can from what you're saying that professionals aren't really listening to you and just telling you things are bad, without giving you any direction on what you can actually do to help yourself. That is a super frustrating position to be in and I think many on the community can relate to that feeling.

    What might help is knowing a little bit more about what BPD is and what it means. For example, to have BPD, you have to tick 5 or more of the following 9 traits below:
    1. Abandonment - Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
    2. Identity - Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
    3. Relationships - A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
    4. Impulsivity - In at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).
    5. Unstable Mood - Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours).
    6. Harm - Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.
    7. Emptiness - Chronic feelings of emptiness.
    8. Dissociative - Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.
    9. Anger - Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

    What's written above is the fancy medical wording for diagnostic criteria, so I'd be more than happy to break it down if there's any questions.

    Once we have an understanding on what's going on, it can help us to figure out what we need to do next. BPD is named as such because it was understood to be borderline between being a neurological condition (the brain and it's chemicals) and a psychological condition (our emotions). What this means is that the common treatment for BPD is a mixture of medication and therapy, often DBT or MBT.

    The medication can help stabilize our moods and emotions, whilst therapy can help us understand why we might react the way we do or act in a certain way. We know that therapy can be super hard to get right now, and that can feel really dis-empowering. Some DBT skills that I'd recommend looking up and giving a go are:
    • Wise Mind
    • Black and white thinking
    • Mind reading

    It might sound a little silly or annoying to begin with but give it a go <3

    You're not alone with this @IainJammyboy , you can get through this and we're all here to support and help too. It's not easy either, so do try and take some time for yourself, do a couple of things you enjoy you when you can, you really deserve it!
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