Do I talk to my manager about how i’m feeling?

Former Member

I’ve been feeling off for almost a week straight now, and nothing seems to be shifting it, no matter how hard I try and stay positive. I know it will pass because it always does.
Anyways, my manager messaged me after my shift today asking me if i’m okay because i “seemed off”. He also kept coming up to me at work asking if i'm okay. I think he knows something is wrong. Obviously I said I was fine, because what else can I say? He always says he’s there if I need to talk, and he’s mental health trained so I know if I did speak to him he probably could help.
Im debating messaging him and asking to talk when i'm working next, just to see if it will help. My problem is, what do I say to him? I don’t want to tell him about how bad i’m feeling or what’s been going on, because I don’t want him to think of me as weak or I don’t want him to give me time off because work is the best distraction for me. I’m scared that if I open up a little bit, i’ll either tell him too much or he’s gonna keep asking me and wanting to talk. I don’t want him to think that I can’t do my job properly.
So, do I talk to him or just leave it and hope it gets better on its own? How would I even start that conversation with him?

sinead276

I think to be honest it's up to you.

From what you've said he's mental health trained so will probably approach the conversation with empathy and a level of understanding. Even if you explain it like you have in your message to say you've got stuff going on, but you don't want a big deal to be made out of it or you don't want him to give time off then I'm sure he'd understand that. I also don't think he'd view you as weak as we all go through off patches where we aren't at our best, and so he'd probably get that.

I think its completely down to how open you are prepared to be with him and if you'd rather not talk to him about it then that's an okay decision to make.

I hope whatever you decide to do is right for you and hopefully this feeling of being 'off' ends soon and you're back to your usual self soon
Sending hugs
Sinead

Former Member

@bellecreighton It's great that your manager has reached out and shown concern for your well-being. It can be very beneficial to talk to someone when you're not feeling your best. If you're open to it, discussing your feelings with your manager can be a good way to share a bit of what's going on and help them understand your situation.

Talking to your manager can be a positive step, but it's also important to consider your boundaries and what feels right for you. It's okay to seek support when you're struggling, and reaching out to a mental health professional can be especially helpful in understanding and addressing your feelings. You are not alone, and many people go through tough times, so don't hesitate to ask for the help you need.

Former Member

@bellecreighton I think it’s a good idea to talk to your manager and if you’re unsure on what to say allow your manager to lead the conversation. It puts less pressure on you and allows you consider and take a moment to think about the questions your manager asks. And this helps you get to the deeper/ root issue on why you’re feeling the way that you are.

Hope this helps

LydsRose9

Hey @bellecreighton, I can totally understand the predicament you’re in. It sounds like your manager is genuinely concerned and probably a good person to open up to as he has mental health training. Often in these conversations you will get a sense of how much to say during it, but like @knej23 says, letting the manager lead the conversation sounds like a good idea.

If you don’t feel totally comfortable speaking face-to-face, is there any way you could message him how you feel, that way you can control how much you tell him without immediate follow-ups?

I hope if you choose to talk to him, it goes well, and remember to be proud of yourself for opening up

Former Member

@bellecreighton
Hi, I think you should always prioritise your own feelings before work! If you are not feeling right whether it's due to mental or physical illness, it is very important to communicate this feeling to your manager so that he could either help you in some way by finding a solution or allowing him to be aware of your situation. I'm not sure what is the cause of you feeling "off", but if he seems like someone that you can trust in the work environment it is best to tell him, if he is the cause I think you should leave this "toxic" environment. Don't worry if he thinks you can't do your job, it is always best to find a job that suits you well.