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Feeling hopless
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,596 Boards Guru
Im at home all day everyday and have been for mote than a year now and I feel depressed about it. I am just so down and I struggle to sleep sometimes. I have been at home all day most days, I just feel so demotivated. I sometimes get people making comments about my situation, it can really get to me and put me down. I have been feeling so down about my situation atm because I want to be doing something but I just am demotivated. It feels like Im making excuses when I say barriers that are preventing me from getting sorted. I worry I wont get sorted because I'm not getting any motivation to get sorted but Im falling behind everyone my age range with careers, achievements and goals etc. I feeling a bit hopeless and negative atm. I keep feeling ok but its not long where I get down again but I just don't know my options.
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Comments
My best pieces of advice I could give are listed below. These may not work for you, but I would recommend giving them a go if you feel up to it so that you can help yourself as much as possible.
They all require little motivation but can be really helpful. Some of them might require things that you might not have access to, such as a TV or other tech, but I have tried to think of an even amount of things, between activities that require minimal resources to activities that require more resources:
-Watch a movie or a good series that you know you will like. For this, all you have to do is sit down, grab the remote or laptop if you have one and pick a movie or series to watch. I love watching Harry Potter when I'm feeling down
-Having a cup of tea or hot chocolate. Just simply making and drinking a hot beverage can really act like a gentle, warm hug that can make you feel more supported, grounded and calm. When drinking the beverage, really feel the warmth of the cup or mug in your hands, and pay attention to the feeling of warmth you feel internally after taking each sip, it can really help.
-Getting cozy with a blanket and cushions (you can also use items such as a hot water bottle (be careful to avoid getting burnt)). This can be really nice and relaxing if you have access to these items. Just grabbing something you can wrap yourself up in like a blanket and something you can snuggle up to and hold like a cushion can be really nice for promoting that feeling of calm and positivity. You can also combine this with the two other activities above (snuggling up with a blanket and cushion, drinking a hot beverage and watching a good movie/series at the same time can be incredibly relaxing and can really help boost your dopamine and motivation levels).
-Saying/listening to affirmations. Saying to yourself statements of positivity and self-worth such as 'I am strong' 'I am a warrior' 'I am incredible' 'I am kind' 'Today is a good day' can really boost your feelings of positivity and motivation. You can also find YouTube videos online dedicated to affirmations. Just type in 'affirmations' and you can listen to someone else repeating similar statements for you, to ease the amount of motivation and effort needed to complete the activity.
-Meditation/Yoga/Mindful breathing. Following a guided meditation/yoga/mindful breathing exercise online can really help to promote further feelings of relaxation and boost your dopamine levels. Doing this can also act as a trigger for increased motivation (I find that the best way to become more motivated is to start with a 'small success', this could be a simple meditation or gentle yoga/stretching activity that gets you moving, and then you can build up to doing something bigger like having a shower or doing some baking to keep the motivation levels flowing).
-Baking/Cooking. Get in some ingredients and just bake something simple like some cupcakes or biscuits. This can be really hard to do when feeling unmotivated, so it's better to do when you're feeling a bit more energised. Play cheerful music in the background if this helps with motivation. This can really help again with boosting your dopamine levels and can promote further feelings of achievement, relaxation and strength.
-Listening to cheerful music. Pop some headphones on or play music out loud if you're comfortable doing so and just listen to the beat. You can sit down doing this, or you can walk around and have a cheeky groove
-The 5,4,3,2,1 grounding technique. The 54321 (or 5, 4, 3, 2, 1) method is a grounding exercise designed to manage stress and reduce anxiety. It involves identifying 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. This can really help you feel more present in the moment and can help you to develop a clearer mind with what to do next.
-Journaling. Grab a pen and some paper and just write down all your thoughts (have a vent). This can really help with getting your thoughts onto paper, having a clearer mindset and not feeling so clogged up.
I hope that these activities help, even just a small amount. I know that all of these can be really hard to do when you are feeling unmotivated, trust me, sometimes I even struggle to pick up the remote because I'm feeling so depressed. But they will help, trust me. Also, with your struggles on getting out of the house (even though this is weird coming from me seeing as I've been at home all day today feeling depressed), sometimes I find it really helpful to just go get my shoes on, walk out the front door, walk to the end of the street and walk back home again as a starting point. This can really help with any anxiety or unmotivated feelings you may have about going outside as it's such a small and relaxed task. If you're at the end of the street and feel able to walk further, do so, but if not just be proud of getting outside even for a few seconds and go back home. And don't worry about looking silly or people judging you, other people can mind their own business
We're here for you x
Lots of love x
It is important to remember that everyone's journey is different and not everyone achieves goals or carry's out careers at the same time. Ik is difficult when you feel as though 'everyone has their life together' but they definitely don't (ik i don't either lol
sending hugs
@Katie12 That's what I need to understand that everyone is on their own journey. I just get down like why I am so behind in my journey like everyone else has a job and not me.