something on my mind

Amy22

I have got something on my mind that I would like to release. Sorry for wasting your time with this post, there are many others on here who need support more. But I saw a video today which mentioned someone stole a knitting pattern and sold it online. I used to copy drawings and patterns and it triggered me and the past mistakes that I made. Im a horrible person for what I did but it makes me question why do people steal from each other. This is what I used to do and now I feel the need to prevent stuff like that from happening. Sorry for wasting ur time with this post.

Amy22

I only copied things to learn really but to never sell parts of my college work was copied drawings even though all of my art tutors said that everything was ok and that it was okay to copy drawings as long as I learnt something from it. what is wrong with me. there was also the time in art class i googled something to help me and i felt the need to tell my tutor as we were supposed to draw from our imaginations and i googled how to do it. im sure they wouldent have minded but a part of me feels so bad about the past.

Former Member

Hello @Amy22
I'm sorry that being exposed to that video brought back negative feelings of shame. While profiting from others' work is wrong, just copying art to learn and exercise is not something that should be criticised and is quite possibly the only way in which people can learn and share skills. Is it possible that you might be extending the feelings of shame for what happened in the past to other actions that might not be as bad?
Everyone can make mistakes, and it's difficult to draw the line but maybe it could still be helpful to remember that one wrong action does not make us bad people as a whole.

Amy22

I think that maybe it has extended my my feelings of shame for my mistakes. I know I shoulden't worry about this as it is done and dusted but something still lingers. Its like when my mum helped me in a online maths test and we looked at a past paper online and copied answers down for an assessment. I came clean to my maths tutor and she mentioned that the maths paper wasn't being marked anyway and it was a practice one so i could use answers from online. It was during lockdown so I guess she pitied me really. I told her my mum helped in the test and she told me not to worry. I always carry this shame around with me I guess.

Amy22

I just feel like seeing that video may put me off crochet and knitting now idk.

Former Member

@Amy22 It's completely okay to share your thoughts and feelings here; you're not wasting anyone's time. Everyone has moments of reflection and concerns about their past actions. It's important to acknowledge your past mistakes and use them as opportunities for growth and learning.

Copying or imitating to learn is a common part of the creative process, especially in art and design. It helps you develop your skills and understanding of different techniques. If your art tutors approved and encouraged this approach, then you were following their guidance.

As for the incident in your art class where you searched for assistance, that's a natural part of the learning process. Sometimes we need to seek information or inspiration from various sources to improve our work.

Feeling remorse about the past is a sign that you've grown and developed a sense of integrity. The important thing is to continue learning and evolving. If you want to prevent these kinds of situations from happening in the future, you can share your experiences and what you've learned with others who may benefit from your insights. Remember, we all make mistakes, and they can be valuable lessons that help us become better versions of ourselves.

Former Member

Hi @Amy22 you’re not wasting anyone’s time! I can understand why you feel as though you’ve done something wrong. But rather than feeling shame, you should feel positive that someone’s work has impacted others positively too! That’s all a creator really wants, to feel as though they’ve had an impact and their work is being valued. The videos and patterns are there to be viewed and used to teach/ help people learn how to crochet/ knit too. As humans were constantly growing, learning and expanding our knowledge! And has long as we’ve learnt from past mistakes, we don’t need to dwell on what we could’ve done differently but rather focus on the present.

Hope this helps

Amy22

Thank you @knej23 I just feel like it tends to be my main obstruction you know, i want to learn but I put things in my way I feel ok.

Amy22

Thank you @Terry8936 x

Former Member

Hi @Amy22 , just popping on to echo what the others have said - The Mix is a safe space to share whatever is bothering you, even if you think it's small. If it's causing you distress in any way then we want to know so we can support you.

It's very normal (although frustrating of course!) to be triggered by things, so there's no need to feel ashamed or beat yourself up.

I think the most important thing to remind yourself of is what @Terry8936 said- the fact that you feel remorse shows that you've grown. Copying drawings doesn't make you a horrible person in the first place, but the uncomfortable feelings you have now are just even more proof that you've grown and changed since then. So allow yourself to feel everything, but also forgive yourself and let it go - I'm sure you have so many positive qualities it's not fair to only fixate on the mistakes you made a while ago!

Amy22

Thank you @catherines03 x