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Im feeling alone right now
FordRanger
Posts: 1,340 Wise Owl
I'm slightly depressed about my life right now. I have been at home all day because I am not working or anything atm, I just feel so ****ing demotivated. I can't do this anymore. People sometimes start making comments about it all and it can put me down. I have been feeling so down and I feel so alone because I want to be doing something but I just am demotivated. I just really don't know what to do because I'm feeling so alone and depressed and every time I just end up realising Im doing anything. I just don't know my options, I sometimes lose sleep because I think about my situation at night or sometimes during the day I get down and sometimes both. Everyone else seems to be working and keeping busy.
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Speaking from experience, I know how feeling demotivated can impact upon all other areas of life. It can make you feel as if you are not doing enough, especially if the people around you seem to be doing ‘more’. However, the difference is, you’re having to live each day with these feelings, which can use up so much energy, and often can mean you don’t have much more, physical and mental, to use for other activities.
This idea that you need to constantly be working or keeping busy in order to be ‘worthy’ is one that is really unfair, as getting out of bed and facing the day, especially when you’re feeling depressed is a massive achievement in itself, and something you should be proud of doing. You’re also in these forums discussing what you are going through, and in the process helping other people, which is an amazing thing to do.
I know it can be scary being in a place where you don’t know where you are going or what you will be doing, but in time things will become clearer and you will be able to move forward, but remember, there are lots of things you are doing now that are of huge value, so please try and tell yourself this and be kind to yourself
1. Set Small Goals: Start with small, achievable goals that you can work toward each day. This can be as simple as going for a short walk, cleaning a small part of your living space, or spending some time pursuing a hobby you enjoy.
2. Establish a Routine: Creating a daily routine can provide structure and a sense of purpose to your day. Include activities that are important to you, such as exercise, relaxation, and personal growth.
3. Reach Out for Support: Don't hesitate to talk to friends or family about how you're feeling. Sharing your emotions with someone you trust can provide emotional support and alleviate feelings of loneliness.
4. Consider Professional Help: If your depression persists and significantly affects your daily life, it may be beneficial to seek support from a mental health professional. They can help you explore the underlying causes of your depression and provide effective strategies for managing it.
5. Engage in Self-Care: Prioritize self-care activities that promote well-being, such as mindfulness, meditation, deep breathing exercises, and adequate sleep.
6. Explore Interests and Hobbies: Use this time as an opportunity to explore new interests or reconnect with hobbies and activities that bring you joy. Engaging in things you are passionate about can boost your motivation.
7. Consider Volunteering or Part-Time Work: If you feel ready, consider volunteering or finding part-time work that aligns with your interests and goals. It can be a positive way to re-engage with the world.
Remember that it's okay to have moments of demotivation and sadness, but reaching out for support and taking small steps toward improving your mood can make a significant difference. You don't have to go through this alone, and there are resources and people available to help you during this challenging time.
Good advice dude
I find it can be helpful to focus first on feeling better to be in a better position to think about what to do next. For example, for me something simple that I find helpful when feeling down is exercise. Boosting those feel good endorphins with a gentle jog, swim, cycle or something else you enjoy can kick-start that process of feeling better. You said that you sometimes lose sleep because you think about your situation at night. If I ever have anything on my mind before bed, I take a pen and paper and write down all my concerns to think about in the day-time. By leaving it on the paper, it provides an outlet instead of my thoughts going round and round my head at night, but it also a reminder that I will come back to it and can release it from my thoughts for the night in favour of good sleep.
The people who make comments don't understand how feeling depressed and alone can make it feel impossible to get up and go. It's times like these when self-care, self-compassion and being kind to yourself with your thoughts, words, and actions is very important. Be gentle with yourself: "Sometimes it's okay if all you did today was breathe." -Yumi Sakugawa
Being kind to yourself provides a buffer in the season of difficulty and will help put you in a mental space where you can move forward. The most difficult part can be pushing against the wall of lethargy and demotivation at the start to do those helpful steps, but it is worth it to feel better! Then it's all about taking baby steps: exploring options to choose one to pursue. There will be options!
These tips come from the Mind mental health charity website in the context of support and self-care for grief. I think they are equally helpful for depression because depression is a stage of grief. 1) Look after your wellbeing: get enough sleep, eat well, avoid drugs and alcohol; 2) connect with others: let others know how you're feeling, seek support, try peer support; 3)talk to a therapist: it can be useful to have a continuous focused source of support that goes beyond the level of support family and friends can provide.
- Get enough sleep. Learn how to relax before bed, making sure your bedroom is a calm place and as clear of distractions as possible. If you are having trouble sleeping, see our pages on coping with sleep problems.
- Eat well. Eating regular healthy meals can make a big difference to your overall sense of wellbeing. See our information on food and mental health for tips.
- Avoid drugs and alcohol. Alcohol and drugs tend to make it difficult in the longer term for you to manage your feelings and find ways to help you to cope. See our pages on the mental health effects of recreational drugs and alcohol for more information.
I hope you feel better soon. Take care of yourself