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Going to safeguarding for a friend
Chloe234
Community Champion Posts: 2,211 Boards Champion
Today has honestly been rubbish. I had to go to safeguarding in school to put in a safeguarding concern for my friend as she attempted twice this week. It really really wasn't easy bc I'm breaking her trust but I felt I had to. But now she's sending me messages making me feel really guilty and it's just made me feel so shit. Am I a bad person? Was it the wrong thing to do? Should I just learn to mind my own business?
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Thankyou morgy 🩷
I just wanted to drop in and let you know that you were a brilliant friend for making sure your friend got some support from your schools safeguarding. I promise that this makes you anything but a bad person! You are incredibly kind for looking out for your friends- they are very lucky to have you
It’s also worth noting, Chloe, that having a friend who has spoken to you about her recent attempts is a lot of weight for one person to carry by themselves. It’s also important that you get the support you need in this too. How are you feeling about things now?
Forum Moderator
It can be really tough when we aren't able to access our typical support network. And it sounds like you really value your teacher's support. It is really lovely that you have built that connection with your teachers but I'm hearing how tough it can be when you aren't able to reach out to them outside of school.
I know you mentioned in your post that your friend has been sending you messages making you feel guilty. These can't be easy to receive, Chloe. Try to give yourself some grace, and remember you were doing your best to look out for them. It's never your responsibility to keep someone else safe, and you should be kind to yourself too
Do you have any plans this weekend? Sometimes it helps to have even small things that we'd like to focus on that can bring us some light relief
Thankyou Gemma, today's turned out pretty shit tbh. Ended up going out to get my sister stuff for college but we're struggling with money atm so haven't been able to get food yet. I have an Ed and even tho I know it's out of my control I feel like I've failed considering it. Going shopping now for food so hopefully will get something there
First of all I want to say that, despite the reaction you received from your friend, yours was a difficult choice to make and that what matters is that you made it with the best intentions.
Self-harm and safeguarding concerns are never an easy topic and often not a black and white one either - there's almost never a clear cut 'correct' reaction and when it comes to dealing with mental health and such extreme cases i find that it's always helpful to extend to ourselves and our reactions the same grace and understanding we would extend to others.
Asking yourself if you made a good choice may only cause you to go round in circles, there's really no good choice or bad choice in these situations.
I'm sorry you're having a bad time due to this and feeling overwhelmed because of ed and money problems. Speaking to the safeguarding lady may be a good idea, especially if you think it'll make you feel less overwhelmed. Sending hugs and let us know how you've been doing
Although things with your friend might feel difficult now, I’m sure that in time they will realise what you did was an incredibly brave and admirable thing to do, and you may have saved their life. School can be a complicated place to navigate, but make sure you treat yourself with kindness, and as @genderless_fungi said, it sounds like a good idea to speak to the safeguarding lady, as I’m sure she has lots of experience in the school and may have some good advice for you.
I really hope things start feeling a bit better soon, and remember we are all here for you🩷