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Why is it easier for other people to get into a relationship then others?

HobokenCiderHobokenCider Posts: 10 Settling in
edited August 2023 in Sex & Relationships
Just a quick heads up, this might be worded VERY badly because I do struggle a bit with wording things.

I’m 19 and I have a relatively small friendship group of about 5 people and I am the oldest in the group by about 2/3 months and all of them have been/still are in a relationship except me.
This might be coming across as a bit whiny which isn’t the intention at all but oh well.

This is where it’s getting a bit difficult to word so I apologise if this gets a bit hard to understand or confusing.

What I’m confused ,as I said earlier, about is that everyone in the group has been/still is in a relationship and from what I’ve heard/seen is that they didn’t really have any difficulties getting into a relationship but for me it’s seemingly very bloody difficult because I’m not a very social person, outside of meeting up with people in the group, I don’t tend to go to many social events

(which I’m realising, now that I’m writing this down, is probably one of the main reasons I haven’t been in a relationship with someone)

And there’s not a lot of people in my local area with the same interests as me, I live in a town that is mostly old/middle aged people.

Why does it seem easier for other people to get into a relationship then it is for others?




0 Days Since Milkshake Machine Malfunction
Post edited by HobokenCider on

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    yanayana Community Champion Posts: 1,277 Wise Owl
    everyone is different. I know that this is incredibly frustrating because I feel the same way to some extent. but the answer to your question is that everyone is different. I guess there's nothing we can do but stay patient and hope for the best. and I know how frustrating that is, I don't think I've ever met a guy from the area I live in who hasn't turned out to be a complete dickhead. I know that's not the same as living in a town full of old people lol but yeah it sucks. I know people who are literally so antisocial and don't go out but they still seem to be in a nice long healthy relationship...it doesn't seem very fair to me but ig that's the way the world works and we gotta just keep going. idk if that makes sense or is helpful or anything but I hope you're doing ok :)
    my brain is not braining the way brains are meant to brain
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    Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,023 Community Veteran
    Sometimes people find their one earlier and sometimes it can take longer. I speak from experience having been in a past relationship which didn't work out but finished on good terms. It can be hard being the person in the friend group and all of your friends are in relationships. I also know that relationships are like rollercoaster's too and some may find that rollercoaster easy to ride than others. I'd say keep trying and there is plenty of time to find that person out there. You never know one day you may be pleasantly surprised. <3 hope you are feeling okay <3
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
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    JJLemon18JJLemon18 Community Champion Posts: 1,926 Extreme Poster
    Hey, sorry I don't have much advice to give here. I just wanted to say that I relate to this a lot, so you're not alone here. I'm 20 and never been in any relationship, not a single one. I'm extremely antisocial so that has definitely played a big part in this. Also the fact that I never make the first move, like ever. I will never talk to a stranger unless they talk to me first, I'm just wayyy too awkward and embarrassed most of the time. I've made this 'joke' before that if some stranger doesn't randomly show up at my room to drag me out the house kicking and screaming then I'll never get into any relationship lol. So yea, I'm kinda looking for some advice too. Stay hopeful and maybe try not to think about it too much. I wish you best of luck!! :)
    Believe in me - who believes in you
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    JJLemon18JJLemon18 Community Champion Posts: 1,926 Extreme Poster
    JJLemon18 wrote: »
    I'm 20 and never been in any relationship, not a single one. I'm extremely antisocial so that has definitely played a big part in this.
    Wait no, I'm not "antisocial" lol. What do you call it when you're crap at socialising?? I'm extremely socially awkward and socially anxious I guess. I swear my brain is literally melting today, thank god I came back to reread this. I guess this kinda proves what I mean :sweat_smile:
    Believe in me - who believes in you
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