unhealthy coping mechanisms

Former Member

how do I stop turning to the most dumb things to cope? my therapist and I tried to brainstorm all the other things I could do yesterday but I've basically just spent all day today doing unhealthy stuff and getting fed up and frustrated and crying a lot. idk why I'm finding it so difficult. apparently I need more self discipline. I feel like an idiot. everything is so fucking frustrating

Emma_

Hey @Xee

I don't have all the answers, that's for sure! But something that I've found helpful over the years is trying to recognise when I'm doing something unhealthy in the moment.

When I spot I'm doing it, I remind myself that it's not serving me anymore, it's not doing what it once did (which was to help me cope) and that I have better things I could do instead. Then, if I still do it, I ask myself why.

It's hard to retrain yourself to do things that are more healthy and better for you, so be really kind to yourself in the process

Amy22

Hey @Xee I know it can be hard trying to stop old habits even ones that are considered unhealthy. However, one thing I tend to do if I do go back to an old habit is to remind myself that it is okay to re-lapse and there is nothing wrong with re-lapsing too as it can be tricky trying to get rid of unhealthy coping mechanisms overnight. It can take time too so self-compassion is also a must too as it can help with those feelings of self doubt. Being kind to yourself can go a long way and self-forgiveness too. I know it can be frustrating when you go back to an old unhealthy coping mechanism especially one that doesn't serve you but instead of being hard on yourself, maybe try to self-forgive yourself for it too. When we allow ourselves to self-forgive it can improve our feelings as well of self-doubt.

Also, another way of possibly finding healthier options is trying something new like a new hobby or doing something that helps you to relax. Sometimes a hobby can help to distract from wanting to go back to those old habits as it can help us to focus on the present and the new.

I know you have come so far in your journey and even though you may feel like you are not good enough sometimes, I think it's amazing that you are trying to find ways of finding healthier options for yourself. Always be kind to yourself in this process too as your only human . I'm always here if you need someone anytime too if you would like to talk more about how you have been feeling,

Sending you a super special hug,

Amy22