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Huge rant about my life and all that shite

spacedogspacedog Posts: 1,192 Wise Owl
in Health & Wellbeing
Why is it me? Why do the rest of my family get to live their best life while I'm here just struggling to get by each and every day? Why is it always me??? It gets to the point where my anger makes my family incredibly scared of me without even realising it or bring able to control it, my mood swings go from the best time in my life to the absolute worst torturous time of my life. Why is it me that my friends abandon because I get so attached? Why is everything always my fault??? And then my mum passes on her epilepsy to just me and of course no one else in my whole family - test after test after test, constant stupid fucking seizures, breaking glasses, falling over and being a complete danger hazard while falling asleep everywhere and not remembering a thing because of the medication.

I was looking at sheep outside my window the other day and it looks so relaxing, just imagine not having to worry about anything and just simply eating grass all day without a care in the world - sounds amazing.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 77 Budding Regular
    I understand and know what it is like just feeling like why does this have to happen to me, Why? Why? Why? are the only things ever inside your mind. You just wish to be normal and have a great life. It is tough and I have experienced a lot of crap in my life too and even to this day, I still deal with it. However, instead of asking why, ask to yourself how? How can I improve this life? How can I make it better even if there are no one or nothing out there to help me? What can I do? If we keep asking ourselves why, we will be stuck in that loop and it can be mentally damaging because being in any kind of loop naturally makes us grow insane. You need to look elsewhere.

    Sheeps may have it easy for an outside perspective but they are part of the natural cycle so they are prey and have to worry about that. If there is no grass, they will worry about that too.

    There is always a bad and a good side in our lives and they vary to any degree (some are worser than others). But you need to take hold of it, control your life and make it your own. Forget about why does the bad things happen to you rather create something for yourself. Create your own world so you can have entire reign over it. I know it is cringy but it is a way to help you with this turmoil.

    If you ever need comfort or more advice, TheMix community will be here to help you and so am I. I sincerely wish you the best of luck and I am cheering for you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Community Champion Posts: 1,294 Wise Owl
    I get wantinf to be a sheep and have a simple life but like think about all the things you wouldn't be able to do as a sheep. no huggies and no nice words from people and no music and no playing violin
  • Former MemberFormer Member muda muda Posts: 122 The Mix Convert
    Being a sheep is indeed nice and relaxing but you wouldn't be fully you. Even though being a sheep seems to be the most preferable despite losing your 'self', possessing this 'self' of yours is the rarest thing in the world which can never be replicated. So, you are a wonderful existence and I would like you to see the value of yourself as an individual. I can see how unimaginably tortuous your life is and from reading what you've written, honestly, I believe you are not in a good environment and deserve to be in a better one. Though being in a new one may not cure your condition, I believe it will alleviate your pain to some degree. I'm aware of how difficult it is to find a new environment and I hope you will be able to find somewhere peaceful like that of sheeps nibbling on grass peacefully. If anything, despite it being virtual, I hope this community can be this environment in some way. <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Miss Moderator Posts: 132 The Mix Convert
    Hi @IainJammyboy its great that you have been able to share this with us :) Life has many ups and downs and unfortunately some people do get more downs than others but these experiences although tough can sometimes shape us in the best way <3 You cannot blame yourself for things out of your control all you can decide is how you handle it :)

    P.s I am also in favour of being a sheep, its sounds very freeing, its nice to have things that you can find relaxation and joy in.
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