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Am I the problem?
spacedog
Posts: 1,185 Wise Owl
Is it my fault that I'm not getting better? Is it my fault that breathing exercises don't work for me? Am I just faking this all? I don't understand what's going on anymore, I'm slowly losing my mind but I don't understand - am I the one at fault? I don't understand what's going on
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Comments
I completely understand the feeling of 'is it my fault?' and 'am i faking it?' but I just want to assure you that the answer to both of those questions is no. You've not done anything wrong at all, I promise. Why do you feel like you're faking it? Is this linked to feeling like you're seeking attention? I probably said the same thing last time lol but a lot of the time I think being 'attention seeking' isn't bad, it just means you need support. Idk about your situation but I know that for me I used to believe I was faking what i was going through because I was actually just exaggerating it so that people could notice I was struggling and help me. For example I remember in year 8 (this is going to sound pathetic don't judge me lol) I used to go to the bathrooms and put water in my eyes so it would look like I was crying because I felt so numb and empty that I physically couldn't get myself to cry and unless there were visible tears streaming down my face no one was willing to acknowledge my struggles. So maybe you could be doing something similar which is what's making u feel like you're faking it? Idk if that even made any sense lol but the bottom line is that you haven't done anything wrong, nothing is your fault, and you aren't faking it. I promise you're gonna be ok one day I'm here if u wanna talk about anything more. Sending hugs!!
I cannot describe to you how much music and writing have helped to overcome the feeling when I am about to have a panic attack and I for sure know that art therapy is a major help in situations of dissociation or derealisation.
Have you ever heard of these conditions?