How can you tell if someone is your friend out of pity because youre disabled?

Former Member

Hello

At school, I feel like I am friends with pretty much everyone and people say hello and how are you the whole time and are polite. I hang around with my group of friends at lunch and breaks and we get on good i think.

but i don't get invited out after school. i don't get invited to go to parties and stuff like that.

I have done some thinking about it and I'm thinking maybe its because they are my friends out of pity. I am deaf and my relationships with people are maybe different.

I like to make friends online and i do that because i dont have to tell people that i am deaf so its not their first thought .

i feel like being deaf is peoples first impressions / judgements of me and they for some reason feel bad and are polite, so im finding it hard to know the difference between polite and friends.

maybe a silly question. i really just want a true friend

ty

Former Member

@taytos It's understandable that you may feel uncertain about the nature of your friendships and why you're not being invited to social events outside of school. However, it's important to remember that making and maintaining friendships can be complex and influenced by various factors.

Being deaf may indeed shape some people's initial perceptions or judgments of you, but it doesn't mean that their interactions with you are solely based on pity. It's possible that people are genuinely being polite and friendly because they respect you as an individual and appreciate your company. It's also worth considering that social dynamics can be intricate, and invitations to social events may depend on different factors such as personal connections, shared interests, or group dynamics.

Communicating your desires and concerns can help you better understand the dynamics of your friendships and potentially foster deeper connections. Keep being yourself, nurturing the connections you have, and being open to new experiences and opportunities, like online. True friendships can arise unexpectedly, and you deserve to have meaningful connections with people who appreciate and accept you for who you are.

Former Member

@taytos i get u, im not deaf but i dont get invited after school or to parties either,if u wanna know if they're being polite or ur friends could u look at how long they've been ur friends, however if u've been deaf ur whole life that wont work. in this case follow terry's advice, i'm here for u if u want a friend

Former Member

Thank you @Terry8936 and that is true and i hadn't thought of that. True friends will come eventually and im going to try and join some after school activities i think and i might meet new people there

Former Member

thank you @libbystrawberry that is true i think theyll say we are friends since forever anyway lol and i think they are friends but not like best friends do you know what i mean. Anyway thank you and im sorry you dont get invited out after school and stuff. Thanks id love to be friends

Former Member

@taytos amazing, ill pm u if u want. i get the friends but not best friends part, i have many of them and going to after school clubs seems like a great idea!