Presentation Struggle

JJLemon18

Hey.
I have gotten myself into a mess, and now I have no idea what to do to get out of it.

I'm at university and for one of my modules I am doing a group work project that we chose our groups for, so the entire group consists of my uni friends. Now I have tried to contribute as much as possible to the project at the start, I attended every meeting an so on. However, most of the tasks that I was assigned, my friends did them before me. And over time (as my mental health was deteriorating) I have been helping out less and less. Now I have contributed almost nothing but the project is done. Or is it? We will have to do one last task for the project, an online presentation to the professor explaining certain aspects of our project and what has each member contributed. This is individual and requires each member to deliver their own presentation for like 3 minutes to the professor in front of everyone else with the camera on and everything. Now how on earth am I supposed to do that??? I never talked to anyone on an online call (especially with the camera on), I even chose to wait 3 months for therapy just to be able to have the sessions in person. I can't imagine doing it, my anxiety is so high right now and I still have just under 2 weeks to prepare. I'm not ready for it, my mental health isn't ready for it. And I don't even know what most of the project looks like!

Now that's not it. during the project each member has to 'grade' everyone else how much they contributed. And because we are all 'friends' they all agreed to give everyone the best ratings, basically saying everyone has contributed enough. You also had to rank yourself, so I gave myself the best rating too, otherwise it would contradict what the rest of the group has put for me and we would be called for a 'group check' or something which sounds even worse. I was hoping to contribute even just a little bit so that I have some excuse for getting a good grade, but that didn't happen. And now its too late, the project is done, over. Now the only thing left is the presentation... that I am 100% not ready for.

What am I supposed to do? I can't go talk to the professor that I'm struggling with my mental health because to me that's not really that great of an excuse, and its definitely not an excuse for lying about my contributions. I discussed this with my therapist yesterday and all I got from her were stuff like "find out more about the project then" or "what can you do to cope with the anxiety" and "you are the one to make the decision what to do about this situation" but that doesn't help. Plus I can't somehow cure my whole anxiety that I had for 20 years within' 2 weeks just because I have a presentation to do, if I could I would have done that years ago. I almost get a panic attack just by talking to someone in the store, I can't imagine doing this.

Now okay, I could take the loss and admit that I made a mistake and that I lied. And in the best case scenario they let me off and won't kick me out of uni for breaking the rules or anything like that. But that will screw my entire group too! They all lied along with me, saying that I contributed. They're right now preparing their presentations assuming I will be there too. I can't do this to them. They were so nice that they lied about me contributing and if I tell all this to the professor, they will get into trouble too, for being nice...

I'm seriously in a mess right now. And this is not something I can be like "oh well, it is what it is. I'll do better next time". This is serious, this is my future that I'm screwing up.
Sorry this feels more like a very long rant, but I'm fed up of the way I'm approaching everything, I'm tired of just barely making it through. I feel like I've finally got myself in a situation where I'm like 'yea, I've screwed too much this time, its over.'
If anyone wants anything else explained I am more than happy to do so. At this point I just don't see a way out of this. I have no clue what to do.

Take care!

Amy22

Hi @JJLemon18 I hear that you got an upcoming presentation soon as part of your uni work and that it will be taking place online. I also hear that you feel that your mental health has impacted on uni and uni life specifically. As someone who recently had to do a presentation both face to face and online whilst being recorded, I know how scary presenting and talking can be especially with social anxiety. I found presenting online to be more daunting especially with having the camera on. It can be scary having to present to everyone especially with social anxiety and deoriating mental health too. Social anxiety can be such a pain as it gets in the way of everything. I don't know if this might work but it may be a good idea to contact your professor or tutor even if you were able to have a 1:1 session and quickly explain to them that you have been struggling with the recent project as well as having to present. They may even suggest that you don't have to have your camera on. I know when I did my presentation, they did suggest having the camera on but if you felt uncomfortable you didn't have to. Another suggestion may be writing down some notes on some paper which can help to explain the points you talk about in your presentation, I often find myself writing notes which then give me idea of what to talk about alongside the notes on my presentation.

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of stress at the moment especially with all of the uni work you have to do as a group. It may be a good idea to talk to your professor about how stressed you have felt and they may be able to help you. Also, please don't feel bad about ranting on here, as you are more than welcome to talk about anything that you need to, I am always listening. I'm always here too if you need someone to talk to or want to discuss more about methods of going about presenting.

Sending hugs,

Amy22

Former Member

Hello @JJLemon18

I hear you've been struggling with anxiety and feeling like you failed the project and your friends by not contributing enough. You're right in saying that it's hard to deal with anxiety and i'm sure that neither the uni nor your friends are expecting you to get over something that is so debilitating in such a small amount of time. I second what @amy22 said, I think that talking 1:1 to your tutor or professor to explain the fact that your anxiety makes you struggle with presenting the project in front of people will be helpful, they might give you alternative options.

Things might seem very daunting, however i sincerely doubt that you're gonna be kicked out of the uni for something relatively harmless like not contributing enough to a project. Is there any particular reason why you think the uni might take action against you for this?
I think that a helpful thing to do might be to talk to your friends about it and see what their perspective is before talking to the professor or your tutor about the situation, they could give you some insight on how they feel about the situation and you could maybe find a solution together to make sure the presentation goes well.

If you end up not being able to get out of presenting entirely, it's still important to bear in mind that you still have some weeks to go and you could still find ways to make the situation more bearable. Maybe you could prepare a script to read, having something to keep my eyes on while presenting always helped me in uni. Or you could rehearse together with your group a lot, so once the day comes you'll feel like the situation is more familiar. Or you could try to 'do the work' now and get to know the project really really well so when presenting you'll feel more secure about the topic and less guilty about not having worked alongside your peers.

Let us know how you've been doing

JJLemon18

Thank you so so much @Amy22 and @genderless_fungi! I really appreciate the help! I'm sorry for replying so late.

Things might seem very daunting, however i sincerely doubt that you're gonna be kicked out of the uni for something relatively harmless like not contributing enough to a project. Is there any particular reason why you think the uni might take action against you for this?

Well, because I officially lied to them. Every two weeks all members of the group must fill out a form rating every other member based on how much they contributed. And we all lied saying that I contributed enough. I'm so scared that if I'll talk to the professor he will realise that I actually know nothing about the project, I can't hide it.

Now I only see two options. Either I don't say anything and I do the presentation and it all works out (I highly doubt it). Or I explain all this to the professor or tutor and suffer any consequences for being dishonest to the university, which could be serious.
All my brain is thinking is that I can't do it, I can't do it... The idea of actually doing the presentation feels impossible to me, there is just too much to learn and I have only just over a week. And this doesn't include the fact that I'm really ill right now and the fact that I also have 3 other (big) courseworks due in 2 weeks... I feel genuinely screwed. I make so many stupid mistakes in my life and I only realise once they're too late to fix... I just wish I could start this whole project over again. I feel like no amount of explaining myself to my tutor is going to help me here.

Sending hugs!

Amy22

JJLemon18 wrote: »

Thank you so so much @Amy22 and @genderless_fungi! I really appreciate the help! I'm sorry for replying so late.

Things might seem very daunting, however i sincerely doubt that you're gonna be kicked out of the uni for something relatively harmless like not contributing enough to a project. Is there any particular reason why you think the uni might take action against you for this?

Well, because I officially lied to them. Every two weeks all members of the group must fill out a form rating every other member based on how much they contributed. And we all lied saying that I contributed enough. I'm so scared that if I'll talk to the professor he will realise that I actually know nothing about the project, I can't hide it.

Now I only see two options. Either I don't say anything and I do the presentation and it all works out (I highly doubt it). Or I explain all this to the professor or tutor and suffer any consequences for being dishonest to the university, which could be serious.
All my brain is thinking is that I can't do it, I can't do it... The idea of actually doing the presentation feels impossible to me, there is just too much to learn and I have only just over a week. And this doesn't include the fact that I'm really ill right now and the fact that I also have 3 other (big) courseworks due in 2 weeks... I feel genuinely screwed. I make so many stupid mistakes in my life and I only realise once they're too late to fix... I just wish I could start this whole project over again. I feel like no amount of explaining myself to my tutor is going to help me here.

Sending hugs!

That sounds very very stressful to go through. But please don't feel bad about making silly mistakes as everyone even myself make mistakes. I can understand how you feel even if coming clean to your tutor about the whole lying about the group contribution thing eventhough deep down you know there are consequences. However, I also know that at the time you were struggling with mental health too and it sounds like your group were supporting you through that time. I can't see why the uni should be harsh on that especially with student well being. I would personally say go with your gut instinct for what is best for you personally. It may be a good idea to explain about the coursework and that your mental health impacted on the project, this may even be handy for your tutor or uni to know as then they may understand more. I know it's easier said than done but sometimes letting your uni aware of how your health has been can ease the situation. Make sure to look after yourself, and I'm always here if you need someone.

Sending hugs,

Amy22

JJLemon18

Thank you so much @Amy22, it really means a lot!
Yea, I will probably send an email to my tutor explaining all this and I'll see what he says. I really don't want all my work so far to go to waste.

Amy22

JJLemon18 wrote: »

Thank you so much @Amy22, it really means a lot!
Yea, I will probably send an email to my tutor explaining all this and I'll see what he says. I really don't want all my work so far to go to waste.

I can totally understand that you don't want your work to go to waste especially if it was a group project as well. It sounds like a very difficult time for you. Im sure that they would understand everything.