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Sorry

Chloe234Chloe234 Community Champion Posts: 3,508 Community Veteran
I don't like to show the vulnerable side of myself but I'm finding things really hard at the moment. I don't require a reply but I just thought I needed to let it out and stop hiding it as much

As yall know Mothers day is tomorrow and that painful hole In my heart feels like it's back. In 10 days it'll be a year since loosing my stepmom too. It hurts.

I found out something about my friend and what she has (she's ill) and it's just worried me, this year a few people in my life have medically declined in my life and its just scary, I don't want to loose anyone elseIt's hard to explain how I'm feeling..

Its a painful emptiness that won't go away and I hate it, sometimes the emptiness is small but others its big

Then there's that prolonged loneliness even though you have people there for you and around you. It's hard bc you feel so guilty and you know you have people but even then it still feels no matter how loud you scream no one hears you

I'm just finding things tough ig and it's a burden on myself and others

I'm sorry if I've seemed off or distant
🦆💜🦆💜🦆

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 375 Listening Ear
    hugs chloe, this all sounds really tough.

    im really sorry for your loss, losing your step-mum must've been painful and knowing that it's mother's day tomorrow can't be easy. maybe u can use mothers day to remember all the happy memories you had with her, to remember that u were loved by her and you still love her. maybe you could do things to feel more connected to her, such as activities she used to like, maybe her favourite films or games or food, clothes. of course you don't have to do those things if you think that's too hard for you, everyone grieves differently and thats okay. it hasn't been too long since you lost her, do take care of yourself.

    finding out your friend is ill must be scary for you, especially because you have lost others in the past. it's okay to feel scared. i think simply being there for your friend might be a good way to make both of you feel just a little bit better and it may mean a lot to her to know how much you care about her.

    im sorry to hear that you're feeling empty and lonely. please know that even though you feel lonely, you have this community and we are here for you. you are not a burden and if u feel the need to rant or vent or just let it all out, we are here to listen. i might not know all the pain your going through and feeling, but i want you to know that it's all valid <3
  • kaiikaii Posts: 543 Incredible Poster
    Sending lots of hugs @Chloe234, you've been incredibly brave for sharing this with us. I'm so sorry for your step-mother's loss, I understand how painful it is, please take the time to take care of yourself. Let yourself grieve the way you need to, anything to make sure that you're okay.

    I completely understand how hard it is for you at the moment since you've lost others, and now that you've found out that your friend is ill, it contributes to that painful, empty feeling. I just want to let you know that we're here for you no matter what. We're here to listen when things get difficult. Please continue to write on here if it makes you feel better <3
  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,616 Extreme Poster
    Hope you were okay on mothers day and it wasn’t too upsetting for you. I can’t imagine what it was like to lose your step mum. Just wanted to say I agree with what the others have said and remember that grief never occurs in a straight line. There will be times where it’s harder for us to cope and days where we seem to manage a bit better. We are all hear for you so do reach out to us on the boards if and when you need to

    Sending hugs
    Sinead
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