Having nightmares or weird dreams

Amy22

Lately, I have been having some strange dreams some of them are about the past, specifically past mistakes I made. For example, lat night I dreamt about the time I was on my art course which I have now completed and it was during lock down where everything was online. We had to do an exercise drawing task but I remember my teacher joking about not looking anything up as we had to draw from our imagination. I had the name of a place I had to draw but I was a bit unsure. So I sneakily looked up the location online. My tutor never knew about it but I kinda felt the need to tell them eventhough I completed that course and I am doing a film course. I think this is me being very stupid and silly again as usual. I don't know how it got there, it just appeared in my sleep. I also dreamt about my boyfriend as there are things that I need to discuss with him too. I don't know I feel like I gone back and let a tiny obstacle hurt me again. I know that my brain likes to bring up the past and will use it to attack me in the present. I just feel like I can't move on from certain things. I just feel like they haunt me on a way and will always haunt me for life. I know I probably won't get over them but I kept worrying about the little things that have little inconvenience to what is happening in the real world. I should be more focused on what is happening now.

(Sorry for the very long rant I just needed somewhere I could vent)

SpaceOtter

Hey amy, sending lots of hugs.

Firstly i wanted to say this is not stupid at all. Brains can be very unkind things, its horrible but its not your fault. These dreams sound very distressing.

Even when things seem little they can have a way of sticking in your head. I often find myself writing everything out , then doing somethimg distracting like playing a video game. And if its still on my mind i write it out again. Sometimes if i feel comfortable i talk to people about them too.

Is there any other dreams/incidents that are currently playing on your mind? You dont have to share them but if you feel it would be helpful im happy to listen.

Sending lots of hugs, we are here if you ever need anything. Please never apologise for rambling. Its really good to let these things out. We are proud of you.

RenP

Hey @Amy22

Thank you for sharing. I second Spaceotter, please never feel you need to apologise for venting, this is what The Mix is for, and is so important not to let things ruminate in your head.

It's sooooooo easy to let the past dictate our present and future. When I was trying to get over my ex boyfriend I felt as though I was actually living in the past because it occupied more of my brain than the present, and not only that but I was distorting it and seeing things through rose tinted glasses so it not only was in the past but also wasn't real. Brains are complicated. We can't really control our subconscious mind so it's totally natural. Be gentle on yourself

I think to be able to move on just comes with time and self-work, and of course it's different for everyone. Are there any exercises you can do such as writing the thing that is troubling you on some paper and then burning it? Or, to help with getting out of the past it would be good to do mindfulness activities as this will bring you back to the present, like choose something like cooking or showering etc and bring all 5 senses into it. This can really help with getting out of your head. Also if you need help with sleep then before you go to sleep try a guided body scan or progressive muscle relaxation - it basically runs through each part of your body and you tense that part, then release, and this can not only bring you back to the present but also relax your physical body.

How are you feeling about discussing these things with your boyfriend? If it's something you feel anxious about, or even something that is occupying your conscious brain then it can drift into your dreams - you may feel once you have spoken to him that you aren't dreaming about it anymore.

If you'd like to share what that tiny obstacle that has hurt you again is then we are here to be a sounding board if you feel you want to. Of course, no pressure though.

And you are not stupid or silly!

Take care

Amy22

Thank you @SpaceOtter and @RenP

Terry8936

Hi @Amy22 , it's important to remember that dreams often reflect our subconscious thoughts and feelings, and can be a way for our brain to process unresolved emotions and events.
It's understandable that you feel the need to confess your past mistake to your art teacher, but it's important to consider whether this will actually be beneficial for you or for them. It may be more helpful to focus on forgiving yourself and letting go of the guilt, rather than seeking external validation or punishment.

It's also important to communicate with your boyfriend about any concerns or issues that are bothering you. Keeping things bottled up can lead to more anxiety and stress. Try to approach the conversation from a place of openness and vulnerability, and focus on finding solutions and moving forward together.

Remember that everyone makes mistakes and has moments of insecurity and self-doubt. It's important to be kind and compassionate towards yourself, and to focus on the present moment rather than ruminating on the past. If you find that your anxiety and guilt is impacting your daily life, it may be helpful to seek support from other people.

Amy22

Thank you so much @Terry8936 it's that I can be quite hard on myself and these thoughts can randomly appear when I'm least expecting them to. I don't know, I guess it's one of those things I deal with. I should really have a discussion with my boyfriend too about it as I know really I have been avoiding them and I don't know why. I feel like I have got avoidance or something lately.