The Past

Amy22

I don't know why but just now I felt anxious again and I reminded myself of the past mistakes I made. Eventhough I know I am not who I was then and I am a different and better person now, I still feel this twang of guilt in my heart and it hurts. So the thing was during I think 2020 and 2021, I had to do maths in college alongside my art course. I was given a maths paper and I thought I had to hand it in the next day. However, it turned out that I didn't have to. I panicked and my mum noticed. She helped me with it and we did look at answers online as I watched a video and it gave me the answers. Also, once I had to do a maths test online at home and I panicked. My mum helped me and sat with me and kinda gave me the answers. Even since I felt guilty for those things I done. I eventually came clean to my maths tutor and she seemed fine about the whole thing (I think it was because I was in lockdown). She told me not to worry about it and that I shoulden't feel guilty. I don't know why I made those mistakes, really I shoulden't have. What I did was wrong. Neverless in art class I used to copy drawings eventhough my art tutors said it was okay. I felt bad for copying drawings as I should be original enough.

I think I remind myself of the past so I don't go back to my old bad ways when I did bad things. I'm always scared that I'm going to turn into a bad person and hurt someone one day. I think that is it I hate hurting people. Maybe I'm too honest. I'm scared to confront these feelings but a part of me doesn't want to. I have a fear of losing all my friends and family for the wrong things I have done. Everyday I try to become a better person but tonight I done it again, I made myself anxious about reminding myself about the past. Reminding myself that I am still a monster for what I did. I'm sorry if you have to read all of this, it's just stupid me venting again about things I shoulden't even worry about anymore.

Amy22

Feel a bit better about writing this out but not full better

Amy22

Past User wrote: »

@Amy22 I understand why you'd feel guilty but it's okay to ask for help and you didn't cheat you just had help with it and that's okay

Thank you so much @Past User its one of those I guess that gets to me now and then.

TheNightmare

@Amy22 We all make mistakes and yours are really minor. I know its not easy to stop overthink things but you shouldn't feel bad, it was in the past and as you say you're a different person now. You are a nice person in this community in the present, you're supportive, helpful and you should be proud of yourself for that.

I doubt you'll lose your friends or family. Do you know why you are scared of turning into a bad person hurting somene? You are not a monster at all. I think you're too harsh on yourself. There's no need to apologise too. I hope you feel better soon ❤

Amy22

FordRanger wrote: »

@Amy22 We all make mistakes and yours are really minor. I know its not easy to stop overthink things but you shouldn't feel bad, it was in the past and as you say you're a different person now. You are a nice person in this community in the present, you're supportive, helpful and you should be proud of yourself for that.

I doubt you'll lose your friends or family. Do you know why you are scared of turning into a bad person hurting somene? You are not a monster at all. I think you're too harsh on yourself. There's no need to apologise too. I hope you feel better soon ❤

Thank you so much @FordRanger

Amy22

Why do I feel bad because of the wrong things I did in the past???

Amy22

I know I shouden't be feeling this way maybe Im bringing it on myself again.

Libby_

Amy22 wrote: »

Why do I feel bad because of the wrong things I did in the past???

I’m here for you Amy, what’s getting to you?

Amy22

Libby_ wrote: »

Amy22 wrote: »

Why do I feel bad because of the wrong things I did in the past???

I’m here for you Amy, what’s getting to you?

Thank you. It's well in the past I haven't made the right choices. This will sound silly but a while ago when inwas in college I enrolled on a art course. I used to copy drawings which now I think I shouldn't have. Even though my tutors thought it was okay. Then on college I also had to redo my maths and I had a test and I panicked. I was online because it was during the pandemic and my mum came in to see if I was alright and she kinda helped me with the questions. There was also the time where I had to a maths paper online but I thought the deadline was soon. So I kinda looked up the answers on Youtube with my mum. I eventually came clean to my tutor about it and she said not to worry. She said that the one paper wasn't going to my final grade anyway and if she knew I panicked in the test she would have helped me. Honestly, I don't know why I worry about it so much as that is gone. But it feels like now and then I remember those mistakes eventhough I know they probably weren't. I tend to have weird dreams, nightmares about it where everyone becomes a monster and seems to hate me. Honestly though I shouldn't be worrying its not good for me . Thank you for helping me though I really appreciate it.

Libby_

Amy22 wrote: »

Libby_ wrote: »

Amy22 wrote: »

Why do I feel bad because of the wrong things I did in the past???

I’m here for you Amy, what’s getting to you?

Thank you. It's well in the past I haven't made the right choices. This will sound silly but a while ago when inwas in college I enrolled on a art course. I used to copy drawings which now I think I shouldn't have. Even though my tutors thought it was okay. Then on college I also had to redo my maths and I had a test and I panicked. I was online because it was during the pandemic and my mum came in to see if I was alright and she kinda helped me with the questions. There was also the time where I had to a maths paper online but I thought the deadline was soon. So I kinda looked up the answers on Youtube with my mum. I eventually came clean to my tutor about it and she said not to worry. She said that the one paper wasn't going to my final grade anyway and if she knew I panicked in the test she would have helped me. Honestly, I don't know why I worry about it so much as that is gone. But it feels like now and then I remember those mistakes eventhough I know they probably weren't. I tend to have weird dreams, nightmares about it where everyone becomes a monster and seems to hate me. Honestly though I shouldn't be worrying its not good for me . Thank you for helping me though I really appreciate it.

Hi Amy,

We definitely don’t hate you, you’re an inspiration to me and others and you deserve to feel happy. I hear you, did you find your tutor helpful? Are you still doing your art-course?

Sorry for all the questions I just want you to get the right support,

Libby ❤️

Amy22

Libby_ wrote: »

Amy22 wrote: »

Libby_ wrote: »

Amy22 wrote: »

Why do I feel bad because of the wrong things I did in the past???

I’m here for you Amy, what’s getting to you?

Thank you. It's well in the past I haven't made the right choices. This will sound silly but a while ago when inwas in college I enrolled on a art course. I used to copy drawings which now I think I shouldn't have. Even though my tutors thought it was okay. Then on college I also had to redo my maths and I had a test and I panicked. I was online because it was during the pandemic and my mum came in to see if I was alright and she kinda helped me with the questions. There was also the time where I had to a maths paper online but I thought the deadline was soon. So I kinda looked up the answers on Youtube with my mum. I eventually came clean to my tutor about it and she said not to worry. She said that the one paper wasn't going to my final grade anyway and if she knew I panicked in the test she would have helped me. Honestly, I don't know why I worry about it so much as that is gone. But it feels like now and then I remember those mistakes eventhough I know they probably weren't. I tend to have weird dreams, nightmares about it where everyone becomes a monster and seems to hate me. Honestly though I shouldn't be worrying its not good for me . Thank you for helping me though I really appreciate it.

Hi Amy,

We definitely don’t hate you, you’re an inspiration to me and others and you deserve to feel happy. I hear you, did you find your tutor helpful? Are you still doing your art-course?

Sorry for all the questions I just want you to get the right support,

Libby ❤️

Thank you so much . I managed to graduate from my art course and I am now doing a creative media course which I feel is more better for me. My tutors were great and my tutors now are a lot better. I am slowly improving on like overthinking things but I do have my days.

Libby_

Amy22 wrote: »

Libby_ wrote: »

Amy22 wrote: »

Libby_ wrote: »

Amy22 wrote: »

Why do I feel bad because of the wrong things I did in the past???

I’m here for you Amy, what’s getting to you?

Thank you. It's well in the past I haven't made the right choices. This will sound silly but a while ago when inwas in college I enrolled on a art course. I used to copy drawings which now I think I shouldn't have. Even though my tutors thought it was okay. Then on college I also had to redo my maths and I had a test and I panicked. I was online because it was during the pandemic and my mum came in to see if I was alright and she kinda helped me with the questions. There was also the time where I had to a maths paper online but I thought the deadline was soon. So I kinda looked up the answers on Youtube with my mum. I eventually came clean to my tutor about it and she said not to worry. She said that the one paper wasn't going to my final grade anyway and if she knew I panicked in the test she would have helped me. Honestly, I don't know why I worry about it so much as that is gone. But it feels like now and then I remember those mistakes eventhough I know they probably weren't. I tend to have weird dreams, nightmares about it where everyone becomes a monster and seems to hate me. Honestly though I shouldn't be worrying its not good for me . Thank you for helping me though I really appreciate it.

Hi Amy,

We definitely don’t hate you, you’re an inspiration to me and others and you deserve to feel happy. I hear you, did you find your tutor helpful? Are you still doing your art-course?

Sorry for all the questions I just want you to get the right support,

Libby ❤️

Thank you so much . I managed to graduate from my art course and I am now doing a creative media course which I feel is more better for me. My tutors were great and my tutors now are a lot better. I am slowly improving on like overthinking things but I do have my days.

Aww! I’m so happy for you, I’m here for you ❤️

Amy22

Libby_ wrote: »

Amy22 wrote: »

Libby_ wrote: »

Amy22 wrote: »

Libby_ wrote: »

Amy22 wrote: »

Why do I feel bad because of the wrong things I did in the past???

I’m here for you Amy, what’s getting to you?

Thank you. It's well in the past I haven't made the right choices. This will sound silly but a while ago when inwas in college I enrolled on a art course. I used to copy drawings which now I think I shouldn't have. Even though my tutors thought it was okay. Then on college I also had to redo my maths and I had a test and I panicked. I was online because it was during the pandemic and my mum came in to see if I was alright and she kinda helped me with the questions. There was also the time where I had to a maths paper online but I thought the deadline was soon. So I kinda looked up the answers on Youtube with my mum. I eventually came clean to my tutor about it and she said not to worry. She said that the one paper wasn't going to my final grade anyway and if she knew I panicked in the test she would have helped me. Honestly, I don't know why I worry about it so much as that is gone. But it feels like now and then I remember those mistakes eventhough I know they probably weren't. I tend to have weird dreams, nightmares about it where everyone becomes a monster and seems to hate me. Honestly though I shouldn't be worrying its not good for me . Thank you for helping me though I really appreciate it.

Hi Amy,

We definitely don’t hate you, you’re an inspiration to me and others and you deserve to feel happy. I hear you, did you find your tutor helpful? Are you still doing your art-course?

Sorry for all the questions I just want you to get the right support,

Libby ❤️

Thank you so much . I managed to graduate from my art course and I am now doing a creative media course which I feel is more better for me. My tutors were great and my tutors now are a lot better. I am slowly improving on like overthinking things but I do have my days.

Aww! I’m so happy for you, I’m here for you ❤️

Thank you

Libby_

Amy22 wrote: »

Libby_ wrote: »

Amy22 wrote: »

Libby_ wrote: »

Amy22 wrote: »

Libby_ wrote: »

Amy22 wrote: »

Why do I feel bad because of the wrong things I did in the past???

I’m here for you Amy, what’s getting to you?

Thank you. It's well in the past I haven't made the right choices. This will sound silly but a while ago when inwas in college I enrolled on a art course. I used to copy drawings which now I think I shouldn't have. Even though my tutors thought it was okay. Then on college I also had to redo my maths and I had a test and I panicked. I was online because it was during the pandemic and my mum came in to see if I was alright and she kinda helped me with the questions. There was also the time where I had to a maths paper online but I thought the deadline was soon. So I kinda looked up the answers on Youtube with my mum. I eventually came clean to my tutor about it and she said not to worry. She said that the one paper wasn't going to my final grade anyway and if she knew I panicked in the test she would have helped me. Honestly, I don't know why I worry about it so much as that is gone. But it feels like now and then I remember those mistakes eventhough I know they probably weren't. I tend to have weird dreams, nightmares about it where everyone becomes a monster and seems to hate me. Honestly though I shouldn't be worrying its not good for me . Thank you for helping me though I really appreciate it.

Hi Amy,

We definitely don’t hate you, you’re an inspiration to me and others and you deserve to feel happy. I hear you, did you find your tutor helpful? Are you still doing your art-course?

Sorry for all the questions I just want you to get the right support,

Libby ❤️

Thank you so much . I managed to graduate from my art course and I am now doing a creative media course which I feel is more better for me. My tutors were great and my tutors now are a lot better. I am slowly improving on like overthinking things but I do have my days.

Aww! I’m so happy for you, I’m here for you ❤️

Thank you