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helping ppl

ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 4,728 The Mix Elder
in Health & Wellbeing
how do u not get triggered by someone talking, do ppl like a solution not to being found. i feel i hav to fix other ppls problems, coz i get an earful first, bc of this its hard to think about taking care of myself. ppl r stressful, y? :s
Crazy mad insane

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  • Former MemberFormer Member Discussion Boards Moderator, Staff Posts: 40 Boards Initiate
    Hi @ellie2000, thanks for sharing that you're feeling triggered when you are asked to fix other people's problems, that sounds really difficult to navigate when you are coping with your own personal things as well. It's great that you have opened up about this and that you have recognised that you need to take care of yourself before helping others. We are here to support you <3 You are not alone in feeling triggered by what's going on for other people, it's a really valid way to feel as it's so hard to be fully present for others when you are struggling. Have you tried explaining how you are feeling to the people in your life who are asking for support? This can feel difficult but you can do it in a way that lets them know that you still care about them. Here are some examples of something you could say:

    "I really want to talk to you about this, but I'm not in the right headspace and need to take some time to look after myself first, I'll get in touch with you when I'm feeling better."

    "You are really important to me but I need to look after myself right now. I will let you know when I'm feeling ready to talk about this."

    There are some great examples of this in this article by one of our volunteers.

    I'm sorry to hear that you have so much going on for you at the moment, remember that we're all here for you. If you're struggling to let people in your life know how you're feeling, you might find it helpful to look at this article on how to open up about your mental health.

    Sending hugs and let us know how you're doing :)

  • Former MemberFormer Member Inactive Posts: 6 Confirmed not a robot
    Hi @ellie2000 agree with @HollyPearl It's just as important to look after yourself so please don't feel guilty for explaining to others that you want to support them but need some time to focus on yourself. I hope things get better for you soon, let us know things go.
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