No such thing as husband-/wife-finances!!!

Former Member

I extreme hate that in islam in a marriage wifes moneys her own while hbs is both of theirs cuz men r meant to be providers best place for women is just in the home serving family (read post “housework is the woman’s job) like np in women working n it’s more obligatory n encouraged for guys n always wife that has to give up work to take care of everything at home. Religions meant to prevent discrimination not encourage it quran saying “as God gave some more means than others” means if wife earns more ofc they’d live on her money (gender conjugations r only for verbs and it’s ancient translations/studies that phrase it as “men are providers and protectors of women”.) n that hb has right to not let wife work ofc we’re allowed prioritising household includes finances and providing is also doing things around the house (even if there’s already enough money with hbs earnings!!)“conditional agreements” encourage the discrimination according the quran the only rights he has over her is intimacy! N other overprotective attitudes towards us women in general hurtful to be seen n treated as weaker n more vulnerable we don’t help how we r physically!!! Altho I’m never planning on getting married I’m totally pissed on how it is between guys n girls in general the former still being more encouraged to work n study away from home city

Former Member

*ancient translations phrase it as “men are the providers and protectors of women as God gave the one more strength than the other”

boa

Hi, @queenferocious, thank you for sharing your thoughts and feeling with us. It can’t be easy to live in a society that is so full of contradictions. On one hand, the UK is generally a modern society that sees women and men as equal. It's difficult to see how you can reconcile that with messages such as “men are the providers and protectors of women as God gave the one more strength than the other”. I wonder how other women in a similar position negotiate these contradictions.

Former Member

Well some women just piss-takingly accept it while some acknowledge it but spend on their families and marriage regardless cuz they do however feel n believe it’s their responsibility/obligation n tbh a female muslim scholar named Madame Guezzu’s hb is a stay-at-home while she works. the prophets wife worked full-time too and supported their family financially

Former Member

Hi @queenferocious, this is a really interesting topic and thanks for sharing your thoughts on it. It can be frustrating when you feel that women are being treated unfairly, and it's understandable to hear your perspective. You mention that you feel the expectations and rules that are placed on Muslim women are restrictive and that they sometimes don't have control of their money. This can be really hard to understand when there are also laws in the UK to protect women's financial independence. Is this something that affects you or the people in your life?

Madame Guezzu sounds pretty cool, do you have any information you could share? I'd love to read more about her! It's great that you have researched this and have found some examples that challenge the usual narrative If you ever feel like talking about this topic further, there's an organisation called Muslim Youth Helpline which is run by people from the Muslim community and they are there to talk 7 days a week. You can find out more about them here: https://myh.org.uk/

Former Member

I never said women done have control over their finances I said it’s unfair if we don’t have financial responsibilities in a marriage like there’s no point in us getting a career and that’s more obligatory and encouraged on men!!!