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TW sa(no detail) and family problems
Chloe234
Community Champion Posts: 3,546 Community Veteran
I just can't get it out my head and I feel so shit about it. My youngest sister was at my mom's for Christmas and I've not spoke or had anything to do with her for almost two years now and they called on a private number yesterday so we could talk to imogen and so we did but then I was asked by my sister if I wanted to talk to my mom but I just froze and then she spoke and said "she doesn't want to talk to me. You talk to her" and it just upset me to hear her voice... I've not heard it for so long. And then I heard my half brother in the background
he SA'd me when i was younger(was sorted)
and It was such a trigger...I can't get his voice out my head.. I just hung up and he just said "merry Christmas girls" and I could barely hold myself together. It was awful 🦆💜🦆💜🦆
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Comments
I'm hearing that you are feeling triggered after hearing your half brothers voice. That sounds really difficult. How are you feeling now, do you have anyone you can talk to about it?
Still really awful but gotta hide it, at boxing day with my family and I don't even like any of the food
Awfully
Reminding yourself this evening that you are safe, and not around your half brother anymore can be help you to feel a little more settled. Maybe wrap up in something cosy and grab a nice warm drink?
Or if you're still out, could you give yourself a bit of a breather outside for a minute to calm your body and just take a moment?
Thankyou emma, im on the way home at the moment, im just hoping I don't relapse, his voice is just repeating in my head and its put me in a bad place (I'm safe tho) and argh idk I feel like rubbish and feel bad for freezing up infront of my sister on the phone but argh idk my head is going at a million miles per hour
I appreciate you sharing this Chloe, can I ask in what way you've relapsed and how you're doing at the moment? We're all here for you.
You don't have to hate yourself for relapsing. Sometimes relapsing can happen to us and it's easy to feel shame for it rather than forgiving ourselves for it happening. So don't feel bad for relapsing. Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves for it. It can be even harder too when you feel like you have hit a low point. Sending hugs,
Amy22
@Chloe234 It sounds overwhelming to feel this way. You've been so brave to share with us how you feel. Your thoughts and feelings are important to us and so are you.
How are you coping at the moment?
Honestly awfully
How are you feeling right now? Have you been able to do some of @Emma_'s suggestions yet?
Or has anything else helped that you'd be happy to share with us? Take care and look after yourself. And don't forget, we're here for you