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Scared I’m going to lose my job

SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
Had another incident at work again. I’ve lost count at how many times they have had the ambulance come to work for me. Feel this time will lose my job
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    If I get suspended today I’m going to into a bad crisis
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    You're doing really well reaching out to here @Siobhan <3

    We're hearing how worried you're feeling about work suspending you from your job. It's a really difficult thing to go through and I can imagine it feeling really distressing not knowing how things will go. It sounds like you're going through so much at the moment and I really hope work are supportive. Do you feel comfortable sharing more with us about how work have been in the past when an ambulance has been called out to you?

    You bravely shared that you feel you'll go into a bad crisis if you get suspended, what could you do to help keep yourself safe? We know Teddy is a great comfort to you, are you able to spend some time with him today?

    Keep us updated with how things go with work and remember these support services are always a call or text away anytime you need someone to talk to:
    * If you need urgent help or have any concerns for your health or safety, the quickest way to get help is to call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. 
    *Crisis Messenger - Our crisis messenger text service provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK. If you’re aged 25 or under, you can text THEMIX to 85258.
    * Papyrus - If you are having thoughts of suicide, you can contact HOPELINEUK for confidential support and practical advice. You can call them on 0800 068 4141 or text them on 07786209697.
    * Samaritans are reachable by phone and email 24/7. Whatever you're going through, you can call them any time, from any phone on 116 123. They also have a webchat operating at certain times and you can find out more on their webiste.
    * Your local crisis team can be contacted by telephone on 111 option 2, and you can visit The Sanctuary from 6pm today too.

    Keep going @Siobhan we're all here for you <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited November 2022
    Thank you @Aife
    The first few times they have called ambulance on me they didn’t do much until it happened too many times and I got suspended then it happened twice again and they suspended me again. So as you can imagine was getting shorter and shorter and I was warned a lot this time so I thought I was getting suspended today. Which would most likely mean losing my job. But thankfully they have given me an option this time. It was either getting suspended or taking it into my own hands and taking at least one week sick leave. So that’s what I have done. I am just happy I still have my job. So I feel okay. I guess I just need to make plans and distract myself. I was crying loads because they kept saying how it affects me walking into someone looking like that and that distressed so I starting crying loads and saying sorry but they didn’t say it to make me feel guilty just because it’s obviously affects others too. But I do feel very guilty. I asked why the other times I didn’t get a choice they just said they was scared and panicked lol
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    I think they think I have bipolar as I get periods of time I’m stable and then suddenly I’m self harming and stuff all the time
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited November 2022
    Thank you. I can’t believe how lucky I am. They could of said I wasn’t fit for work ages ago. Especially when they can’t garuteen my safety at work. They was lovely & said I work fast & I am a lovely person so it would be a shame to lose me & that they want to support me as much as possible & do what’s best for me which is being at work I do feel very bad for the stuff they have had to see & keep crying about that bit
    They are also scared of me going too far by accident and dying and I was like dw I won’t die at work lmao
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SpaceOtterSpaceOtter Community Champion Posts: 890 Part of The Mix Family
    Hi Shaunie, Im really glad to hear you didnt loose your job. And im glad work are trying to be supportive.

    How are you feeling tonight and do you have any plans of how to occupy your mind during your week of leave? here if you ever need anythinh <3
    You're awesome!
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you. I have made a few plans with friends and my sisters.
    But I am feeling bad as tonight my family was talking about how I am traumatising the managers and that it is unfair. Tbh I know it is unfair but I don’t need it saying to me. Clearly already feel bad as it is
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,577 Part of The Furniture
    Siobhan wrote: »
    But I am feeling bad as tonight my family was talking about how I am traumatising the managers and that it is unfair. Tbh I know it is unfair but I don’t need it saying to me. Clearly already feel bad as it is
    I know this is a slightly overdone analogy, but I think it applies here: isn't it funny how we react this way for emotional and mental health trouble but not physical health trouble?

    Like if you had seizures or passed out at random moments (for example), and that happened at work, the idea of someone saying 'that's so unfair, you're traumatising your colleagues' would seem so ludicrous that it probably wouldn't even cross their minds to say it.

    I suppose it's a reminder of the how we think of mental ill-health so differently, especially when we're the ones struggling. Be kind to yourself @Siobhan, maybe you deserve a break eh? :)
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
    The truth resists simplicity.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Had to call in sick today even though they already know and it wasn’t really my choice lol. I guess better than suspension.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Sorry I didn’t see your reply @Mike as I was already on the page for a bit and didn’t refresh
    Now I feel bad I look like I ignored you lol

    But that is very true! Thank you
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    I’m doing my best to keep myself distracted. I think I’ll be okay for my week off. I’m meeting a work friend on Tuesday. She has helped me a lot. She trained to be a mental health first aider. Like did that on her own accord and paid for it. So she really helped me
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    I feel awful
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 113 The Mix Convert
    Hi @Siobhan

    It seems as if this is quite an overwhelming time for you right now. In periods of high-stress like these, our thoughts can feel inescapable and suffocating. It can be so hard to keep pushing through when you feel as if it is getting a bit too much to cope with. I'm so glad to see that you've been able to meet with a work friend for support during this tough season of life, how did this go?

    I see that you felt awful yesterday, would you be able to share a bit more about this? You deserve to be supported and cared for. We are here with you.

    I can see your resilience and determination to continue with work despite the obstacles in your path, I admire your perseverance.

    Take care.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you. I feel a bit better now. But I’m confused as I had phone call with gp and they prescribed me with sertraline and said will be at the chemist but didn’t tell me what to do about my citalopram I am on right now which is the high dose. Like do I just suddenly stop taking that or what. Can you be on both at the same time.
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Wanna see how I’ve spent my week and distracted myself. Making advent calendar for friend. Getting 25 presents for my friend. 2 presents are not in the photo as they have our faces on. I’ve just gotta wrap them all up and give them to her tomorrow

    qhcyjrmavy27.jpeg

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    I’ve got a month supply of my meds which I haven’t had for ages, kinda makes me feel unsafe
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    I’m really sad about how it’s nearly new year & I’ve done fuck all once again
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    Siobhan wrote: »
    I’ve got a month supply of my meds which I haven’t had for ages, kinda makes me feel unsafe

    If you take the excess to a pharmacy they can dispose them safely for you.
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