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Feeling Down Again
TheNightmare
Posts: 2,596 Boards Guru
I've been out with a friend to get something to eat, I'm back home now and I just feel a bit down. I think I am just worried about my future and stuff. It's just my career, I don't know what to, I just feel incapable of stuff that I want to do and worry I'll have no choice but to do a job I dont like. I feel like a failure sometimes. I've been to college and I'm not going to say I hated because hate is a strong word but I definitely didn't like it so I had a negative experience from there. I actually found my secondary school good overall but I did want to get out by year 11 time then I was at college which felt like a backward step kind of from school. I just not really found my feet yet with anything and I don't know if I will because since I left college I went to another to do motorvehcle then got withdrawn.
Like I thought about going back to college but Im 22 I'm not sure if I really want to be at college this age, I don't know what to do because anyone can say I'll go to college I'll get a part time job and I can but I think if I have a negative expetiance in a job like if I work in retail and get a rude customer I think it would fuck me up. I remember it was early in my first year of college and I just was in a down mood because I just didn't want to be there, I was going college as a chore the whole way through and just having finding it shit and boring most of the time. I don't want to go through that again with a job. I do want to work, I don't want to sit at home and get benefits all my life I just want to do something I like and enjoy
Like I thought about going back to college but Im 22 I'm not sure if I really want to be at college this age, I don't know what to do because anyone can say I'll go to college I'll get a part time job and I can but I think if I have a negative expetiance in a job like if I work in retail and get a rude customer I think it would fuck me up. I remember it was early in my first year of college and I just was in a down mood because I just didn't want to be there, I was going college as a chore the whole way through and just having finding it shit and boring most of the time. I don't want to go through that again with a job. I do want to work, I don't want to sit at home and get benefits all my life I just want to do something I like and enjoy
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Im hearing that you're feeling down and worried about your career and you're not sure what you want to do in the future. That sounds difficult. I'm also hearing that you didn't like college. There are a lot of different ways to get into careers if one way doesn't suit you. You mentioned you started a motor vehicle course at college. How would you feel about maybe looking into a motor vehicle apprenticeship, that way you are learning new skills as well as working and getting paid?
Here's a link with more information about apprenticeships if you want to have a look at it https://www.apprenticeships.gov.uk/apprentices?&_ga=2.111136581.1700585791.1668266696-122761373.1668266696#
Do you have any other areas you enjoy that you would like to find a job in? There are a lot of ways to get into jobs now, I think a lot more people are finding routes into jobs that doesn't involve going to college. So it's important to remember that you can still get a job you enjoy without going to college.
Keep us updated with how you're getting on, we're all here for you
Sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I have previously read through some of your other posts and know you have expressed these feelings before. It's totally normal to feel this way, when you want to work but haven't found anything. Exploring work life can be really tough and people often go in and out of jobs. I'd say, maybe try and go back to the beginning. Spend time doing your hobbies. What do you enjoy? What things in particular do you care about? Try out that mind map I spoke about previously, of what makes you, you. This may give you some inspiration.
I have been working in the same industry for almost 10 years now, and it's not where I want to be anymore. I now do 2 volunteer shifts in an industry I want to be in, I get a lot of enjoyment out of them and hoping that they lead onto something else, but I understand the need to do something you love, and I completely empathise with feeling like you are not doing enough. I think many others are and have been in your position.
You say you have thought about going back to college but not sure you want to do that at the age of 22, but it's important to remember there is no correct age to do anything - I know a few people who have gone back to Uni as a mature student, because they have realised in older age they want to take a different path. Try to release the pressure you are feeling because this will only make you feel weighed down.
Like jess63 said, maybe an apprenticeship, or a voluntary role may be a good starting place to see what you are interested in.
You are not a failure!
Hi
I was at college and did a motorvehcle course but got withdrawn. I'm just not sure if I want to be a mechanic anymore. I just been depressed in the evening a bit about stuff, I'm feeling unmotivated and incapable of everything too
Yh true. I try to spend as much time as I can with my family. Go out with friends occasionally. I go out quite often tbf, like helping my uncle or mum with shopping and get stuff for me too. I just feel unmotivated a bit to do anything because I'm not sure if I want to be a mechanic anymore, o dont know about an apprenticeship tbh, its a lot of responsibility to be a mechanic if you fuck up a customers car its like you are screwed. I feel incapable of a lot, I just don’t want to go through anymore negative experiences.
I'm a bit down about stuff this evening but I'll go on sc. Not got much people to talk to tbh, there's places like here like Support Chat, boards, 121 chat but I think 121 said its not really suitable for long term support. Boards and the support chat is limited especially SC coz it's not always on and I don't want to be reliant on the group chats really one reason is as we've seen it's not always on, most of the time it is but also the mix might decide to permanently close it for some reason and also in a few years I won't be able to use it anyway since I'm 22. I've been checking where I could get support, Samaritans is good but I don't like talking on the phone. ChildLine is good but I'm 22 so can't use that. Yh its hard. I don't want to talk to my family because it would be unfair on them to put more stress on since they are bus and I don't want them to think im weak, not weak , I don't know.
Thanks for your reply though and sorry for the long response, probably best to make a separate discussion about all what I said here.
Struggling with direction and purpose can feel really unsettling, it makes sense that you're finding this hard. It'd be so much easier in some senses if we were given a manual explaining how we should lead our lives, but fortunately there is plenty of room to explore and trial things until we find a good match. Though this is exciting, I understand there can be quite a lot of unnerving uncertainty attached to an undetermined future.
It seems as if you are experiencing fear of failure, is that right? This can be pretty debilitating and I can see why an increase in responsibility is intimidating in this context. It's important to remember that mistakes are inevitable and even expected at work, your value is not directly equal to the level of perfection that you can achieve. Sometimes mistakes give us the learning opportunities we need to grow, even if they may seem like a painful failure at the time. It's understandable though that you want to protect yourself from this occurring. Perhaps you could explore the support options available for the education you'd like to pursue, whether that be an apprenticeship or college. There are ways for you to be supported along this journey.
It's fantastic to see that you've been maintaining positive relations with your family and friends, it is so important to rely on our support networks. I see that you'd like further access to forums in which you can receive social support. I will attach a few links and suggestions here which may be useful for you:
The Clic online community:
https://clic-uk.org/
TellMi:
https://www.tellmi.help/how-tellmi-works
Side by Side:
https://sidebyside.mind.org.uk/
Togetherall:
https://togetherall.com/en-gb/
Please feel welcome to keep us updated. Take care.