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What if I’m wrong

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
in Gender & Sexuality
I’m a 16 year old girl and for around 2 years I have wondered if i like girls. For about 1 year i have been pretty certain that i’m a lesbian but i have a doubt that maybe i’m just seeking attention- im not sure whether this feeling is a result of heterosexual normativity or whether i’m just seeking attention. I think i’ve experienced romantic feelings towards a girl before but i’m not sure whether i just wanted to be good friends with her

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  • UnknownUnknown
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    edited September 18
    hi @Past User
    thank you so much for your kind words.

    i have this urge to know my sexuality as it feels like a lot of people my age know, i’ve been struggling with these thoughts for quite a long time now and i really want to just know.

    Post edited by TheMix on
  • UnknownUnknown
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    edited September 18
    hi @Past User

    thanks it means a lot to know that there are people on a similar position as me, i often feel like everyone my age has everything figured out. it’s great to know i don’t have to know at the moment :)
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • UnknownUnknown
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    edited September 18
    @Past User, thank you so much you have been extremely helpful- i feel much better now! :)
    Post edited by TheMix on
  • UnknownUnknown
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  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 172 Helping Hand
    Hi there @anonymous311 I see that you are new to The Mix so welcome, and I hope you are finding things ok here! Sexuality is fluid and on a spectrum, which means that it is susceptible to change over time and you may find you have preferences, as do you most things in life. It can be hard to navigate all of this, especially at the start and as you said due to the heterosexual normativity society we are raised in. I think it is important to keep in mind that no matter what your feelings are valid!

    Take care,
    Fiona <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    hey @fiona333
    thank you very much!
    😁
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 203 Trailblazer
    Hey @anonymous311

    Thank you for sharing your thought process with us, by no means are you seeking attention by feeling what you feel. There are people that like to fit into labels and groups, and there are people that don't, and both are totally okay. I, personally, have never been one for labels, but for me, it is so dependent on the person rather than their gender identity and I try to be as free flowing and non-constrained as possible. I noticed the title of your post 'what if I'm wrong', but there is no right or wrong way to feel when it comes to this. Do you think exploring physically with a woman is something that may give you more clarity?

    It's important to take things at your own pace and know that we are all SO individual and that is a beautiful thing.

    <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 203 Trailblazer
    @anonymous311 just checking in with you - how have you been feeling recently?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    hi @RenP

    thank you very much for checking in. i am now more confident in my sexuality and have been doing a lot of self reflection. I was diagnosed with asd around a year ago and even though i had a formal diagnosis i still feel as though i don’t really have it. this is the same sort of feeling i’ve had about my sexuality so i am working on my confidence and speaking to trusted friends about how i am feeling. I am in a much better place now!
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,783 The Mix Elder
    @anonymous311 I'm so glad that you feel a lot more confident about your sexuality. Self reflection can be a good thing to do as it helps us to find who we are. I hear that you were diagnosed with asd but not formally yet. As someone with asd, I can understand how you feel as I too sometimes feel like I don't really have it or present it sometimes. How do you feel about your diagnosis at the moment?. It's a great thing to hear that you are working on your confidence. Confidence comes with time and I'm sure you will find it.
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    @Amy22 Thank you, i have been formally diagnosed however a part of me feels as though i’m not actually autistic because i’ve spent a big part of my life believing i’m not. This is the same thing with my sexuality- i know i’m gay but i still feel a small amount of doubt. I think this feeling will probably go with time (i hope)! I’m in two kinds about my diagnosis because a part of me is happy as ot explains why i feel and do certain things however i also feel upset (before my diagnosis i had negative stereotypes of what autism is and didn’t know much about it so i think that’s why) this is something i’m working on my researching more about asd! Thank you for your help!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator, Staff Posts: 35 Boards Initiate
    edited December 2022
    Hi @anonymous311 that sounds like a lot for you to go through and to be thinking about. It takes a lot of strength to talk about this. Am I right that it's some of the negative stereotypes of autism that's upsetting you? Your thoughts and feelings are important to us.

    It sounds like you're taking steps, like researching, to tackle this and you should feel proud of yourself for this. Please keep us updated with how you're feeling <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Deactivated Posts: 19 Settling in
    Hey @anonymous311,

    I'm sorry to hear that part of you feels upset about your diagnosis.

    As @Amy22 mentioned, it sounds like you're taking all the right steps in self-reflection and I'm so glad to hear you're working on your confidence. Researching sounds like a great way to develop further understanding - it's also important to remember that your journey (be it with asd, or your sexuality) remains unique to you.

    You've taken a great step by opening up on here and talking about this. As you mention, I'm sure doubts will fade with time as you grow to understand yourself more and, with this understanding, naturally build confidence. :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    @JonAddo @cocobean

    thanks for your help! Negative stereotypes are a part of why i think i’m upset i think it’s mostly my lack of knowledge. I not doing too bad though because I realise this is why i’m upset. The past year has been a crazy year for me learning things about myself (sexuality asd) and i’m ready to accept them both it’s just going to take some time and work!

    I’ll keep you updated with how i’m feeling ❤️
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,783 The Mix Elder
    No worries at all @anonymous311 I hear you out though on the negative stereotypes of autism as I feel that a lot of people see this a lot eventhough though there are positives to having autism. I find that a lot of social media is also responsible for the negative stereotyping personally. I'm glad though I was able to help :).
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    anyone who can help,

    @RenP mentioned in an earlier post that maybe exploring with a female could help me figure things out. there’s a girl i really like and she’s told me she feels the same way. we’re in a friend group of 3. i’m worried about leaving out the friend i don’t like- any advice would be greatly appreciated ❤️
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,783 The Mix Elder
    Hey @anonymous311 I hear that you really like someone and they also like you too. I understand how you feel especially as you are in a friend group and I can understand that you don't want your other friend to feel like the third wheel.

    I'd say if you really like this girl, you should definitely ask her as chances like these don't often happen especially if it with something who has the same feelings as you too. It might be a good idea to explain to your friend about that you really like this girl and it might make them feel better about the whole thing.
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    @Amy22

    thank you so much for your advice, do you think i should tell my friend that i like our other friend first. Or should i tell the girl i like first and then tell the other friend? Thank you much for your help
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,783 The Mix Elder
    anonymous311 wrote: »
    @Amy22

    thank you so much for your advice, do you think i should tell my friend that i like our other friend first. Or should i tell the girl i like first and then tell the other friend? Thank you much for your help

    No worries at all I hope it helps. I'd say maybe when you three are all together explaining about it. As the girl you like would be there and your other friend will.be there too so it's easier to explain.
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 15 Settling in
    Amy22 wrote: »
    anonymous311 wrote: »
    @Amy22

    thank you so much for your advice, do you think i should tell my friend that i like our other friend first. Or should i tell the girl i like first and then tell the other friend? Thank you much for your help

    No worries at all I hope it helps. I'd say maybe when you three are all together explaining about it. As the girl you like would be there and your other friend will.be there too so it's easier to explain.


    that’s great thank you so much- you have no idea how much your advice has helped me ❤️
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,783 The Mix Elder
    anonymous311 wrote: »
    Amy22 wrote: »
    anonymous311 wrote: »
    @Amy22

    thank you so much for your advice, do you think i should tell my friend that i like our other friend first. Or should i tell the girl i like first and then tell the other friend? Thank you much for your help

    No worries at all I hope it helps. I'd say maybe when you three are all together explaining about it. As the girl you like would be there and your other friend will.be there too so it's easier to explain.


    that’s great thank you so much- you have no idea how much your advice has helped me ❤️

    No worries I'm more than happy to help out :)
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • Former MemberFormer Member Moderator, Staff Posts: 35 Boards Initiate
    Hi @anonymous311 it looks like you're getting some good support here, which is great as it sounds like you may have been unsure about how to tell your friend.

    How are you feeling about telling your friend?

    We're here for you if you need to chat about how you're feeling :)
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