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SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
in Health & Wellbeing
I don’t know what’s triggered this crisis but I feel awful
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited November 2022
    Left house and said I am doing over time. I ain’t, was planning on killing myself now I’m a coward
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 9,030 Supreme Poster
    Hey @Siobhan, sorry to hear things are so difficult for you today. I’m around if you need a chat, are you safe just now?
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    I am safe just sitting in a bench crying
    Will probably just tire myself out and go home when my family expect me. Embarrassing coward to kill myself
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • AoifeAoife Community Manager Posts: 3,228 Boards Guru
    edited November 2022
    We're here for you @Siobhan <3

    You're doing really well reaching out to us and it's reassuring to hear you're feeling safe at the moment. You've shown a lot of strength in fighting against these thoughts and doing what you need to look after yourself. We're hearing how much you're going through and we're here if you want to share a bit more about what's going on for you.

    To help you continue to stay safe today, when you've been in crisis before, what do you feel has helped you during those moments?

    If you do begin to feel unsafe or would like any additional support outside of The Mix, remember these organisations are always just a call or text away anytime you need them:
    * If you need urgent help or have any concerns for your health or safety, the quickest way to get help is to call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. 
    *Crisis Messenger - Our crisis messenger text service provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK. If you’re aged 25 or under, you can text THEMIX to 85258.
    * Papyrus - If you are having thoughts of suicide, you can contact HOPELINEUK for confidential support and practical advice. You can call them on 0800 068 4141 or text them on 07786209697.
    * Samaritans are reachable by phone and email 24/7. Whatever you're going through, you can call them any time, from any phone on 116 123.

    We're all here for you and you're not alone today <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited November 2022
    Thank you Aife & independent. I’m at home safe now. Police brought me back. I feel numb and sad to be alive. I don’t want to breathe or do anything so I’m just going to see if I can make myself go back to sleep. Today has triggered me as I haven’t got to that state for awhile/ this year. Apart from needing to go to hospital for self harm but not being in a crisis of suicidal crisis want to die now crisisi since January /December when was in psych ward for a few days
    I really hope this isn’t going to start a reoccurring thing again because I feel tired of it already. Like ffs either kill self or don’t. I am embarrassed & just completely fed up
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited November 2022
    Thank you Morgan

    I got through work today. I really thought I wouldn’t as soon as I started. Really felt awful but I just kept with it. Still feel awful yet numb
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • UnknownUnknown
    This content has been removed.
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    I am struggling so bad. I didn’t realise how well I was doing until feeling this bad again
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Help me
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    I don’t know what I did to make me stable the past few months but I wasn’t feeling this awful what changed i don’t know. I didn’t realise I was feeling that stable until now. Fml I can’t do this
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 4,800 The Mix Elder
    @Siobhan I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been feeling great lately. It can be hard going through something like that. But I just wanted to say that you have come so far and that eventhough there may be days when you feel like you are relapsing, you have pulled through most of it. It is okay to feel this way though. I'm always here if you want to chat. Hope ur feeling okay,

    Sending hugs,

    Amy22 <3
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 113 The Mix Convert
    Hi @Siobhan

    Experiencing such painful, intense emotions can be both overwhelming and isolating. We are here with you to work through this together. It can be so very unsettling to go through an unbearable time after having a period of progress, I understand that this can feel quite defeating. You are worthy of reaching a point of stability again. May I ask if you are receiving support and if so, what this is? I'm curious as to whether you have a mental health team or a counsellor who is helping you navigate through these really challenging emotions.

    I hope you feel that moment of relief that you very much deserve, take care.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 172 Helping Hand
    @Siobhan I’m so sorry you are going through this, it can't be easy and must seen so scary. Especially, with the sound of it, things took a quick and strong turn. But you have been able to reach out for help here, which is not easy and I am glad you feel this is a safe place, which I would like to reassure you it is. We are here for you.

    Is there anything that helps you through these difficult times?

    I wish you nothing but the best, please take care of yourself. Let us know how you are doing,
    Fiona <3
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Hi. Thank you all. I was discharged from services about 2 weeks ago.
    I’m not doing well. I’m scared I won’t make it to see my niece & become an auntie
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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