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what will social services do

dollymixdollymix Posts: 18 Settling in
edited October 2022 in Care Experienced Zone
Not sure this is quite the right place for this but thought someone with experience of social services would be able to help.

mum occasionally let me see the GP for issues that she deems worthy enough which undermines me saying that she doesnt let me go. Last year I explained to the substitute GP during a phone appointment that she doesnt let me go for everything and gave him permission for him to speak to her about it as he insisted, and I felt it was a reasonable first step, but she played it off saying I was too anxious to go in and was blaming her. The practice doesnt have an email and I never had the chance to phone in private to explain the situation as our phone logs calls.

mum recently acknowledged that I ask to go to the GP often and is threatening that ill end up in lifelong care if I go and see the GP and has compared me to a hypochondriac. I have what she said to me on record that I took in secret. I have very real symptoms, seeing colours and black flashes in my vision so I am sure its not my anxiety. I need support as my conditions are very painful. Unfortunately in the recording she doesnt acknowledge the specifics of my more serious problems and only refers to less serious ones like the largish 1st degree burn (which I took a photo of for evidence) and the time I got a large bruise on the nipple area of my breast and thought it might be cancer (it was in fact a bruise as it has faded a lot). I am worried that if this turns into a serious situation and someone tries to take action against her that she will be able to dispute the recording for the reason that she had reasonable cause to believe that it was my anxiety, or something to that effect.

I am considering sharing the recording with social services. Im not sure if what ive said here is enough "evidence" to leave home. I should be able to but they use their discretion with under 18s and I have no one to live with and it would open up a can of worms to ask to go into care as theres all sorts of procedures that would need to be put into place, mum would be informed etc etc and she has a bad habit of threatening me so i dont really feel safe doing that to be honest

I am wondering if it would be best to turn up at the council office and offer to pay for the first month with my disability money whilst im waiting on a benefit claim rather than involving social work and then report afterwards


  • AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,012 Boards Guru
    I'm really sorry to hear about what's happening at home @dollymix. This sounds like some really difficult things to be going through and you've taken a really brave step reaching out to here to us <3

    I'm hearing how worried you're feeling about your health and the long-term impact this could have without seeing a medical professional. It feels like you have been coping with this for quite some time and I can't imagine how tough that might be feeling for you with your mum blocking your ability to get medical support. How long have you been experiencing these symptoms for?

    In terms of your health, I'm wondering if you have a phone or access to a phone? How would you feel about calling 111 to speak to medical professional about your symptoms? You can find out more about this service over on the NHS website - https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/.

    From what you've shared, it sounds like you are wanting to share this recording you have of your mum with social services in the hope to be able to leave home. You also mentioned that if your mum was informed about you going into care, you wouldn't feel safe her knowing as she often threatens you. If you feel comfortable sharing, can you tell me more about the threats she makes towards you?

    I'm not sure on the processes social services would take, but I have found a few articles you might find helpful to read with more detail on this and some housing options. There's a few about moving out of home and a useful one from Shelter about your options too.
    - The Mix 'I'm 16, can I legally move out of my parents?'.
    - NSPCC - Moving out options as a young person.
    - Shelter - Support options for 16 and 17 year olds .

    What's really great about Shelter is you can also chat to an adviser via their helpline or web chat service - https://england.shelter.org.uk/get_help

    You can also reach out to our helpline or web-chat service which is open from 4-11pm Mondays-Saturdays. You can find out more about how to reach our lovely team over on our website here - https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/speak-to-our-team

    Keep us updated with how everything is going. We're all here to support you through this <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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