I feel miserable every morning

Kate_20

I can't help thinking about killing myself when eating and doing chores in the morning. The feeling always passes in the afternoon. I am quite useless when unemployed and everything is my fault. My parents are unhappy with me when I am trying to do anything that may be irrelevant to job hunting.

fiona333

hi @Kate_20 im sorry to hear you are going through this, but so glad you were able to reach out as it’s not an easy thing to do.
It can be confusing and scary when having such thoughts, you often can’t control them and they seem to occur for no reason. You have been able to identify when they occur, which is useful. Do you find doing the chores or doing something else helps you distract from these thoughts?
I also recognise you notice that these thoughts pass after a certain period, which I think is a useful thing to remind yourself of in the morning when you may be struggling.
Do you feel able to talk to your parents about how you feel? It maybe that they don’t understand your struggles or something maybe misinterpreted.

Always here for you 💜

Kate_20

@fiona333 I feel worse when doing the chores. I talked to my parents about how I am feeling but they do not seem to understand at all.

Aife

That sounds so tough your parents not understanding how you're feeling @Kate_20. It's a really brave step you've taken to reach out to them and I'm really sorry to hear they haven't been understanding. That period of being unemployed can be so challenging to go through, you're not alone in finding this hard. Nothing is your fault at all, I'm sorry it's feeling that way. It's okay to be taking this time to look after yourself, your mental health comes first and a job will come your way at the right time when you're feeling ready too. This is all temporary and things can change

If you feel unsafe at all and would like some support outside of The Mix, remember you can always reach out to these services below

*NHS urgent Mental Health Helpline - you can call this helpline 24/7 about anything you're going through. Use their we website to find the helpline available in your local area.
* Samaritans are reachable by phone and email 24/7. Whatever you're going through, you can call them any time, from any phone on 116 123.
*Supportline - they offer emotional support over the phone or email | call 01708 765 200.

You're doing really well reaching out to us here. Keep us updated with how you're feeling

Stellaluna

@Kate_20 Aw I am sorry your parents do not appear to understand. The job market is challenging, and it is not always easy to get a job right away. I appreciate your efforts on persevering with looking for a job and for communicating with your parents. You have shown emotional maturity, responsibility, and self-awareness. Your perseverance, openness to communication, responsibility and emotional self-awareness are strengths of yours. If you wish, you could look at the Samaritans self-help app which may help you track your thoughts and organise a safety plan in case these thoughts become overwhelming.
Information on the app can be found: https://selfhelp.samaritans.org/
Hope this helps.