Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

Virgin at nearly 19

Hello!
I'm almost 19 but I'm still a virgin. I've just been to a college party, but I still couldn't lose it, eventhough my friend could. I don't know how to approach girls, showing them that I have sexual intentions, without being creepy about it. Any ideas? But my bigger question is, am I a lost cause, for not being able to lose it even at a college party?
I'd like to thank anybody who responds, I need a big dose of confirmation on this topic.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 6 Confirmed not a robot
    Your not a lost cause! There’s no time frame for when things should happen and u should never let society dictate when something is right fir yky . Plenty of people lose their virginity later, it’s all a personal choice . It’s important ur ready. I can’t stress that enough u need to be ready and want to do it, not because you think you should . When it feels right it feels right, and should be with the right person. It’s important to build that trust with someone first , and communicate ur feelings clearly and remember consent is key!
  • sinead276sinead276 Posts: 1,634 Extreme Poster
    I second what @gurpreetb has said. You are definitely not a lost cause, and there isn't a specific time frame in which people should be having sex. Some people lose their virginity earlier, and some do it later, it's just the way life is, along with personal choice. As typical as it sounds, when the time comes it will be right for you, however old you may be. I also agree it's important to build trust with someone and communicate feelings, however daunting you may (or may not) find it, so that when it happens its as enjoyable as can be. But remember there is no rush for you to lose your virginity and you're not a lost cause :3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 24 Boards Initiate
    Hi!

    I also agree with the other comments, I certainly don't think you are a lost cause at all. If you want your first time to mean something then definitely build trust with a special person and when the time is right, it will happen. It is very scary, I remember how nervous I was and it doesn't help when everyone else around you seems to have already done it, but don't let that push you into doing it. Losing or not losing your virginity does not define who you are. And it is worth the wait, once you find a special connection, it'll al be worth the wait.

    Sending love <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 203 Trailblazer
    Hey @Randomguy

    You are definitely not a lost cause! It's more of a reflection on society than it is on you. These pressures that we are under to do things at certain ages specific to gender 'norms' etc. It's the same with marriage/having kids etc.

    You lose your virginity once in your lifetime so to rush into it may not be the best idea if you think you'll regret it. It's important to know you're not alone, there is no right or wrong time to lose your virginity! It would be so much better if you are doing it for the actual person rather than the act itself.

    Take care <3
Sign In or Register to comment.