Stuck in a nightmare

Former Member

This nightmare is my reality. I moved here from Canada during December of 2019 and have been trying to get my document sorted the covid got in the way and now I've been trying again but can't seem to get anywhere I need them sorted because I need like NEED to get out of living with my mum she is very mentally emotionally financially and occasionally verbally abusive to me just me not my siblings she loves them. Like I literally lock myself in my room to avoid her and she hasn't given me the money for my phone bill and now the company has suspended my contract till its paid but she's not giving me the money so I can't get calls about my document or from my councillors at the domestic abuse hub, who seems to be having a very hard time finding somewhere that'll take me in and be able to help me get my documents sorted. I just want this nightmare to be over cuz I am literally losing my mind and I don't know what to do because I can't call anyone right now. I honestly feel like smashing my head into the wall, my mental health has gotten so so badbut I can't break out of this nightmare that is my stupid life.

Former Member

Hi Dru,

First things first, welcome to The Mix! You've done a really brave thing by reaching out to us for support and we hope that you enjoy your time on the community

It sounds like things at home are difficult for you at the moment. Would you like to tell us a little bit more about what your relationship with your mother is like?

You've mentioned that you feel as though you need to get out of living with your mum, and I'm wondering if you've made any plans for what you'll do or where you'll go once your documents are sorted? Have you thought about where you might live when you are able to leave your home?

You might be interested in checking out an organisation called Is This Ok?, who are another organisation that support young people with anything they are worrying about or finding difficult. They have a chatbot which can support you with advice and information 24/7, but you can also ask to speak to a specialist advisor from 2pm to late every evening. There are a completely anonymous service and won't ask you for any personal information. Their website is https://www.isthisok.org.uk/

Here at The Mix, we have also developed a tool called 'Home Truths' for when you are about to move out of home for the first time. Whether you are moving into student accommodation or your own place, Home Truths is here to teach you everything you need to know about living on your own. You can find it at: https://www.themix.org.uk/apps-and-tools/home-truths

You've done really well to reach out to us, Dru, and we can hear that things are difficult for you.

Take care,
Harry

Former Member

Hi um sorry it's taken me a little while to reply.
Ya I have a caseworker that the domestic abuse hub in my area trying to find somewhere I can go or stay while working on getting my document but he's having trouble finding one.
Once I do get my documents sorted I'm moving out I don't know where yet as it would depend on how much I can afford and stuff like that.

My home life is hell I mean I lock myself in my room to avoid her otherwise she's yelling and guilt tripping me and damanding I do things for her and if I don't well there comes more verbal, emotional and mental torment from her and recently more financial abuse too as I rely on her for food and everything that I may need money for like I don't even go to the doctor because she doesn't want to pay for any meds I need as I said I lock myself in my room and do nothing which is making me feel like I'm going insane.

I don't know what else to say, sorry.

Aoife

This all sounds so tough to be going through at home @Dru. You're really brave for reaching out to us and also the domestic abuse hub in your local area. How are you finding the support from your caseworker? Have they shared with you how long it might be before you can find somewhere to stay?

Earlier you mentioned your phone bill hasn't been paid so you're not able to make any calls. Is this still the case at the moment?

There's an organisation called Victim Support that offers a live chat service you can reach out to 24/7. They might be able to offer some additional options to you - https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/help-and-support/get-help/support-near-you/live-chat/

Also if you'd like to chat to our lovely helpline team via our free webchat service, we are open from 4-11pm everyday of the week. You can find out more over on our website here - https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/speak-to-our-team

I really hope you're able to find somewhere to stay soon. Keep us updated with how everything is going. We're all here for you