Hiya - life eh :))

EGM

I haven't been on here for soo long. Maybe it's time to actually ask for advice about everything.

2021 was the worst year of my life and the start of 2022 didn't seem it would go any better.

(Positive note though: I moved to university last October and it actually has been soo amazing. So many great people I've met in church and societies and loads of fantastic experiences like climbing snowy mountains in Scotland).

I've faced soo many different challenges with family and relationships and my own trauma and issues and it can be quite overwhelming at times. (I won't go into any detail now as that would take years ahaha). Being home over summer is really hard as everything is different and everyone is struggling and I can't deal with trying to stay strong.

I think I need to try and understand and deal with things but I have no idea how to. How do I actually find people (who are available and trustworthy and not going to be overwhelmed by my stuff) and then how do I actually start talking to them. Any advice would be greatly appreciated ❤️

fiona333

Hi @EGM welcome back, it’s great to have you here! I’m so sorry to hear that last year was difficult and the start of this year too. But congrats on going to uni, meeting new people and making good memories. I would imagine you faced some hurdles in doing so but managed to overcome them to have these good experiences.

Also sorry to hear that being at home over the summer is difficult, I’m in a similar situation and find it helpful to keep busy and keep in contact with friends from uni. I’ve been working, volunteering and get back into hobbies - cross stitching, painting, volleyball. Even just going for a walk to get out of the house. May I ask if you’re seeking an support from a professional, or would be interested in doing so?

I also found it hard to find someone I could talk to, who I could trust and feel like I wasn’t burdening. In my experience, I was honest about my trust issues and potentially overwhelming people. I think trust takes time, you can “test the waters”, start sharing small things and build up if you feel comfortable. Keep communicating- for instance tell the person that sharing something that might seem small, is quite difficult for you. I have been surprised by how many people seem to be able to relate or are able emphasise with me. But other times I have been quite disheartened by peoples’ responses to me sharing. It did make me retreat, and I needed some time again before putting myself out there. Like I said, it can just take some time.

I completely appreciate how difficult it can be, but you just posting this shows you are making steps in the right direction, so thank you for doing so. Always here for you, keep us updated, love to hear from you! ❤️

EGM

Hey. Thanks for the advice for things to do whilst home atm @fiona333

I don't currently get professional support and I don't know if I want to. Not really sure what support there is and from what I've heard it's not the easiest process. I tried going to a talk session thing at uni but it wasn't really that useful.

Thanks so much for the advice about talking to people. It's really good to hear other people's experiences and know possible ways to approach it.

Thank you!! It is really appreciated ❤️

jess63

Hi @EGM

Firstly well done on going to uni and experiencing all those new things, it certainly sounds really positive. I'm hearing that you are struggling being home over summer. That sounds really tough. Echoing the great advice @fiona333 has already given, hobbies are a great way to distract yourself and keep busy.

I'm hearing that you're not sure what support there is available and that you found a uni talk session was not useful to you. Finding the right support is important and there are lots of different options if one doesn't work for you. Although I know it can sometimes be tough finding the right support. Well done for reaching out on here as this is a great step to getting support. I'm hearing that you're not sure if you want professional help. Other places that may be able to offer support are a uni wellbeing centre, most unis have a centre where people can go for support and speak to someone in a more relaxed setting. There is also your GP who may be able to refer you to different services or talk to you directly about things. Talking to people can be difficult, one way you may find helpful is making a list of things you want to talk about before hand so in the moment you can make sure that you are getting the support you need. How do you feel about speaking to someone and asking for support?

You've made a great step posting on here and asking for support from the community. Please keep us updated with how you're getting on. We're all here for you.