Struggling to describe how past situations have made me feel

Creativeboy23

Hello. I have recently been remembering some situations. I have been told that I am so quiet, awesome, work hard, and am a lovely student but am too hard on myself sometimes. Staff members have reassured me that feedback is not given to criticise what I have done, and my friend reassured me when things have upset me. I have been reminded to take breaks. I have been told to not put pressure on myself when I was upset about not getting a task completed within a set time limit. A staff member offered me mock interview feedback, telling me that I did not mention some strengths he noticed I had. I was told that I should not have been worried about being judged for changing my progression plan, and that nobody will judge me about asking questions, as they may have the same questions as me but too afraid to ask that question. I have been told that I need to reword a description of my work experience placement to show that I have worked with my autism positively. A staff member at a youth club told me I should get involved more. It is like all the people that have told me these things have the same view of my personality when they do not know each other. These situations have elicited a particular feeling that I have been struggling to describe, but all I know is these situations have made me feel separate from other people. I would like some help in finding out what that particular feeling could be please.

Amy22

Hi @Creativeboy23 from what I've read it sounds like you are a great hard working student which is a good thing. I can understand the part where you mention about being hard on yourself. I too can relate to this in some ways as I have struggled with being hard on myself in the past. It sounds like your teachers think you are a wonderful and great person. I'm not sure if this helps but it could a bit of self doubt that you might be feeling. Self doubt is normal to experience as most of the time, a lot of people fear being judged or are worried that they might have not done their best. The truth is though is that as long as you have tried your best that is alright. We aren't all perfect and we shouldent self doubt ourselves or fear being judged, because we are human. I think you are a great person and as long as you try your best and enjoy what you do, you'll be okay. I'm not sure if this helps, but if you ever want to chat I'm always here


Sending hugs,


Amy22

Creativeboy23

Hello @Amy22.

Your are mistaken. It is not self doubt but thanks for helping me find the emotion it could be. I have realised now that I think I was trying to say that these past situations have made me feel singled out for special attention. I have been struggling with this feeling for quite a while.

Thanks I am always available if you would like to share things that have been troubling you .

Sending hugs to you too,

Creativeboy23 .

Amy22

@Creativeboy23 Aw no worries, at least you have found the feeling that you were trying to find. Thank you though


Amy22

Former Member

Hi @Creativeboy23 a lot of what you are describing sounds like the people around you who are telling you these things appreciate you and perhaps they think you are modest or have self doubt (which I know you said you don’t 😊) so they think they are being helpful with this reassurance?

When you say this has made you feel separate from other people, can you explain that a little more? Is that because you feel the special attention you’re getting is different to other people, or something else?

Might be helpful to explore to better understand the feelings and to be able to articulate them to others - particularly if they are making you feel singled out.

Lucy

Creativeboy23

Hello @Lucy307.

Yes. I feel that the special attention I receive is different to other people. It is like the experience that people have of my personality is needing to give me frequent reassurance, and pointing out areas I need to work on (for e.g. needing to get involved more and talking about my autism positively). I just feel that I am the only person with these aspects to my personality.

Former Member

Hi @Creativeboy23 in case it helps, it sounds like some of what people are telling you are quite ‘normal’ things people can say. Lots of people really enjoy getting reassurance, some people really need reassurance, and so I think others tend to give out reassurance thinking that it will be a positive and helpful thing. It sounds like you do not want or need reassurance, and that’s ok to say to others if it doesn’t work for you 😊

Also pointing out the areas you need to work on - also might be people thinking they are being helpful? I certainly get feedback on areas I need to work on / could improve on quite regularly too.

What I’m trying to say is, I don’t know if you’re the only person that hears these things, are you sure there are not others around you who hear similar things in private conversations? There may be no malice / negative intention, but your feelings are valid and it’s ok for you to there that it doesn’t make you feel good when they say these things

Creativeboy23

Hello @Lucy307.

Wise words.

I think there are others that hear similar things in private conversations, but I think that is only me because I have always struggled with taking things personally.

Thanks for your reassurance.