would I be getting back into exercise for the right reasons?

abbey17

TW: eating disorders, disordered eating, excessive exercise and body image

For some context, I have previously struggled with my relationship with food and exercise, it got a lot better about 2 years ago. I never particularly enjoyed exercise, but since starting uni last year, I struggled to care for myself whilst managing uni, work and independent living. Especially, during the summer exam season, I found gentle walks in nature helped with my anxiety, stress and just taking some time for myself.

I have been struggling with my body image recently, and part of me wants to make a change, by engaging in healthy habits because I know it’s good for me, and will have benefits in the long term. But the part of me feels driven by my eating disorder voice and social expectations/ pressure like I’m a bad person if I don’t exercise.

Also, i have previously seen mental health support for my relationship with food and exercise, by I’m not currently. I did seek support from my uni and local charity, but they not that well versed on disordered eating / eating disorders and I have been previously had poor experience with some specialist charities. My family and friend never really understood my struggles either.

Chloe234

Hi @abbey17 sorry to hear about all of this, have you seeked help from a gp on this?

a good website to look at could also be beateatingdisorders.org.uk this has loads of useful resources and also has thier own chatrooms where you can talk to others with eating disorders to get support and give support, as well as a gelpline and 1-1 online webchats with an advisor

Of course you are welcome here thats just something extra you can maybe consider

hope you are ok

-chloe

abbey17

@Chloe234 yeah I went to my uni GP, i tried beat before and I have had some not so positive experiences. Thank you though!

Chloe234

Sorry to hear that @abbey17 i have an eating disorder myself so you are always free to PM me if you need to talk

fiona333

Hey there @abbey17 so sorry to hear all that you have been through, can’t imagine how difficult and frustrating it must feel. Thank you for having the courage to share, I think by just sharing shows how much insight and perspective you have, which I think it key to making the best choices for yourself.

Have you considered returning to mental health services? During your time in the services was there anything you found particularly helpful or useful?

Here’s a list of eating disorder specialist charities you may want to use https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/treatment-for-eating-disorders/international/united-kingdom/u-k-eating-disorder-organizations-charities

Although, I’m appreciative of the fact you have had previously poor experiences and may be hesitant, but I personally don’t think you have much to lose by potential reaching out or making an enquiry.

We are always here for you Abbey, take care of yourself! ❤️

Owl

you have some very good and healthy reasons for wanting to get into exercise, and an awareness of what sort of "reasons" are less healthy and are EDs trying to sneak their opinions in there (the cheeky little shits!!) so if you feel confident you have the right reasons, you'd be able to tell what isn't a healthy motivation (and if you had support in place just in case as well that would be a bonus) go for it!! you've got this!!!

sorry to hear you had a bad experience with BEAT, that sucks and I hope you get a much better experience whenever you reach out to anywhere in future looking for support is always the right thing to do rather than struggle alone (massive props to you for talking about it here too!!!) and takes so much bravery!