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can’t stop thinking about the past

abbey17abbey17 Posts: 17 Settling in
recently, I have been replaying such small moments in my life where I felt ashamed, humiliated, embarrassed and just cringe. I cant stop thinking about them, and I don’t know why. Most happened years ago, and a part of me knows that most other people don’t remember or don’t care, but I just can’t move on.


  • kaiikaii Posts: 425 Listening Ear
    Hey @abbey17, thanks for reaching out :smile: I relate to how it's so hard to stop thinking about those moments, even though they are small. You're not alone in feeling this way, many others have embarrassing and humiliating memories :smile:

    Unfortunately, it's quite normal for our brain to remind us of these memories, whether we like it or not. It may help to focus on the present, you can do this by focusing on your breathing or doing meditation ^^ you can also distract yourself, such as focusing on the sounds of your environment in the moment or listening to music.

    This might not work, but it can be worth a try: learning to laugh at those moments can also help ^^ you could tell it as a funny story to close friends or family since you're letting it all out instead of bottling it all in - it could help you feel better. Please don't feel pressured to share it here though, since I'm aware of how uncomfortable it can be :smile:

    I don't know the moments that you've experienced, but I would just like to say that they're only temporary and you did your best at the time, which is perfectly okay <3
    cinnamoroll supremacy : )
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 3,802 Community Veteran
    @abbey17 Hi Abby, hope you are okay. I can relate to this in some ways as I struggle with things I have done in the past too, mostly mistakes or bad choices I made. I can understand how scary it must feel thinking about the past all the time. The truth is, we can't really change our past but we can change the future. I try to look back on the past in a positive way and thinking that I am a different and better person now.

    Hmm, do you have any hobbies or interests that help you to keep grounded in the present, or help to calm you?. I also agree with what @Kaii said about meditation, as it can help to relax you. I used to watch Headspace on YouTube, and I dont know if this is helpful but also asmr videos can be quite distracting and relaxing to watch.

    I'm always here if you want to talk or want to chat anytime. <3

    Sending hugs <3

    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • kaiikaii Posts: 425 Listening Ear
    I couldn't agree more with @Amy22's words :smile:

    Headspace is a great channel, I definitely recommend it ^^ I'd also just like to add that Daily Calm on YouTube has really great mindfulness meditation videos as well, it really helps me stay in the present moment because of their reassuring words about thoughts, emotions, the past...etc.

    Here's a link to a video of theirs which I think resonates with your situation, I hope it helps:


    Hoping the best for you <3
    cinnamoroll supremacy : )
  • RenPRenP Posts: 203 Trailblazer
    Hey @abbey17

    Thank you for sharing. Like the others said, mindfulness is really key to being in the present. I'll note down a few exercises you can do when this comes up for you.

    1. If you are able to cook, the next time you chop, lets say, a carrot, bring all your senses into it e.g. how does it smell, taste, feel in your fingers, the sound of the chopping etc. Doing little activities like this once a day can help you to feel back in the present.

    2. When you have a shower, you could imagine that the water running down your body is all of these events you feel ashamed of, humiliated, embarrassed about. Feel them flowing down your skin and watch as they go down the plug hole. Feel them wash away from you.

    3. You could write down these events, if it's not too traumatic for you. Write them on a big sheet of paper and then rip it up, burn it, scrunch it up into a ball. Similarly, if you have access to a body of water you could hold a pebble/stick/leaf in your hand and assign each event to a different object from the earth, then throw it in the water. You can watch it float away into the ocean or down the stream because you are sending it back to the universe. This could be cleansing for you to release them.

    It's so easy to live in the past and the future but I do feel that the key to contentment is living in the present, but we have so many thoughts running around our head every day, that this is incredibly hard to do.

    I hope this can be of help to you. Take care <3
  • PenguinSkyPenguinSky Posts: 36 Boards Initiate
    Hey @abbey17 - I related a lot to your post so unfortunately I'm not in a position to give advice, but (I hope this doesn't sound weird) I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this. Obvs I'm not happy that you're struggling with this but I'm glad you talked about it on here and that I found your post bcos it's just nice to know it's not just you sometimes. And thanks @Amy22 and @kaii for the tips, I might try some of them too : )
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 3,802 Community Veteran
    Hi @PenguinSky no worries at all :). I'm glad ur found some of the tips useful. They are definitely handy now and then to use. Also, I don't know if this might be helpful, but if you ever want anyone to talk to or need any advice on anything, feel free to PM me anytime. Im always happy to help :).

    Sending hugs,

    Amy22 <3
    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
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