I hate myself for being so useless

Kate_20

It is shameful to be me. I haven't been productive enough. And it is unforgivable because I don't have much time left.

Former Member

hey, it sounds difficult feeling this way and we're all here for you i hope youre okay!

i read a book recently called the happiness trap, and i think the author could tell you a few things. perhaps he'd say it doesn't matter whether the thought that you're useless is true or not (which regardless, im sure it isnt! our uses arent always obvious to us, and however "useful" we are doesnt dictate our worth!), but whether its a helpful thought. if it makes you feel horrible, and as you say, makes you feel ashamed and like you cannot forgive yourself, then it certainly isnt a helpful thought your brain keeps giving you.

some methods of "defusion" the author calls it, include things like saying your thoughts in your head in a funny voice of a character you like, to the tune of a song, or thinking something like "i am having the though that..." to seperate the thoughts from yourself. because you are not your thoughts! remember your brain doesnt always work for you, and there are times where you are working for your brain.

im not trying to sell you the book, but credit where credit is due, and it isnt due to me!

sorry that im not particularly great as a listener and tend to give advice, i hope it is still handy though and is something that you can dig deeper into and hopefully starts working for you. hope youre feeling better about yourself soon, you deserve it

take care!

Stellaluna

@Kate_20 It sounds like you have lots to do and you feel bad for not getting enough done and you blame yourself. If you feel comfortable sharing, where do you think these feeling of shame come from? Here is a useful link https://hive.com/blog/productivity-tips/ on productivity. I list some useful tips from the article here:
1. Masking a to-do list with everything you need to get completed.
2. Doing one task at a time. Not multitasking.
3. Breaking bigger tasks down into smaller manageable steps.
4. Scheduling in breaks
5. The ‘five-minute rule’. Where you start something you have not much motivation to do for 5 minutes and sometimes once you have spent 5 minutes on something this makes it easier to get the momentum to continue.
6. Timetables with allocated time slots e.g. 60 minutes for tasks
7. Limit distractions- choose an environment to work in where you can concentrate, put earplugs in, switch off phone notifications and emails.
8. Doing the most challenging and time-consuming tasks first.
9. Work at the time of the day when you are most productive.
Here is another article on toxic productivity where people feel the pressure to constantly be achieving and completing tasks https://blog.trello.com/what-is-toxic-productivity-and-5-tips-to-overcome-it#:~:text=Toxic productivity is a mindset,else you “should” do.
Have you tried the pomodoro technique? This is where you set your timer for 25 minutes for focused work with a scheduled five-minute break afterwards. You then repeat this for as long as you want your work session to last. There is an app called ‘Forest’ which plants a virtual tree for every pomodoro session you complete and gives you a warning if you close the app to look at other things on your phone. With time you can increase the length of the pomodoro session.
Hope this helps and I appreciate your efforts.