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Not sure what to do

chef24chef24 Posts: 3 Newbie
Over the last 2 weeks a lot of things have changed for me. My emotions and mood have been crazy.my thoughts are all over the place. I only get a couple of hours sleep a night. I feel like I can barely talk to anyone when I'm surrounded by people that care about me and want me to talk to them but it's so hard. My anxiety is going crazy I feel like I will have another breakdown soon and I feel like I want to hurt myself but I don't want to I've been clean for 6 years and I don't want to throw that away I need to keep going I need to be strong for my parents I need to be there for them but it's so hard. It's so easy to put a fake smile or do a fake laugh and pretend that I'm doing better but I'm not

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    LeilaLeila Posts: 2,064 Boards Champion
    chef24 wrote: »
    Over the last 2 weeks a lot of things have changed for me. My emotions and mood have been crazy.my thoughts are all over the place. I only get a couple of hours sleep a night. I feel like I can barely talk to anyone when I'm surrounded by people that care about me and want me to talk to them but it's so hard. My anxiety is going crazy I feel like I will have another breakdown soon and I feel like I want to hurt myself but I don't want to I've been clean for 6 years and I don't want to throw that away I need to keep going I need to be strong for my parents I need to be there for them but it's so hard. It's so easy to put a fake smile or do a fake laugh and pretend that I'm doing better but I'm not

    Hello,

    I am so thankful you have come to the mix to look for support as you fully deserve it, you've mentioned that you feel like you'll hurt yourself, are you safe? If you feel you aren't safe then please call 999 or present yourself at your local hospital for support.

    I am sorry you feel like you want to have a mental breakdown, have you got anyone who can support you with how you feel? Have you been able to tell anyone, a teacher, close family member? Talking about things seem tricky, but talking helps you could even write it down and hand it to the person, Hugs.

    It seems you want to be there for your parents but on the down side things seem too much, If you feel like you want to speak to someone online, There is Childline for people up to 19 - with a support chat - there is also Shout which is a text service 85258 avaliable 24/7, I am sorry to hear that faking a smile is your way of presenting that you are okay, have you got anyone who you can possibly tell that you are struggling, at the moment? of course we're here for you as well, so keep posting but maybe a councilor may benefit for you?

    sending you warm hugs,

    Leila
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    chef24chef24 Posts: 3 Newbie
    Thank you
    I know I won't sleep harm I've been clean for 6 years now but the thought of it has came into my head a few times but I have found some coping mechanisms for it. These last couple weeks have been hard on my parents and I and I don't won't to talk to my parents and add more things on their plate to worrie about its just so hard to believe and understand what's happened and what's the next steps going to be. Its so hard for me to talk to people about how I feel and what my thoughts are as I have always just bottled it up until I can't anymore and I know that's not healthy for me
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    enorth1enorth1 Posts: 68 Boards Initiate
    Hi @chef24,

    I can see that @Sunbathequeen has already provided lots of links to wonderful services. I just wanted to jump on and thank you for sharing your feelings with us. You've recognised that you can find opening up tricky and you have a tendency to bottle things up, so it a huge step that you've felt able to share. It isn't easy and it takes a lot of courage. I'm pleased that you've got coping mechanisms in place for your self harm too that seem to be working for you at the moment. It sounds like the last couple of weeks in particular have been incredibly difficult for you. If you feel you'd like to share more about your worries, we are all here to listen and support you, but equally there's never any pressure to go into details. Whatever you need x
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    chef24chef24 Posts: 3 Newbie
    Thank you @enorth1
    I just feel lost not sure what I'm ment to do anymore I'm detracting myself with work but it's hard not to think about what's going on I'm trying but it's so hard
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    enorth1enorth1 Posts: 68 Boards Initiate
    Hi again @chef24, thoughts are such powerful things, they can definitely be hard to ignore sometimes. I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling with this. I can really feel how much you're trying, you strike me as someone with a lot of strength. Here at the Mix we are happy to try and provide a distraction if that's what you'd like, we have lots of fun games and discussions on the 'anything goes' forum for example. Equally, if you'd like to speak more about what's going on for you, we are more than happy to listen. You mentioned that you'd got a good support network, which is amazing to read, but also if you feel you'd like to speak to a company over the phone that don't know you personally, then there are companies such as https://www.samaritans.org/ and https://www.childline.org.uk/ which can offer more support too. I really hope this helps xx
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