Why am I bothered?

BellaCanada

Hey

I was recently scrolling through social media and discovered randomly someone I went to school with is going out with someone I dated for a bit a year ago from university. I am unsure why I am bothered or that it hurts. I think I take the fact they didn't want a relationship with me personally when I then see them with someone body else. Although it was a year ago and don't think I would even want to be in a relationship with them however I cannot get over this feeling of not being good enough and if only I was somebody else.

daisyella12

Hey @BellaCanada

Feeling this way is completely valid and normal. I have been in a similar situation where someone I dated got with someone else that I knew. I think it hurts because we realise that is something we could've had, and now it's gone. It feels like they are taking something that isn't theirs to take. I think the best way to get over this is to remove them from your social media, even if you don't want to delete or block them completely, sometimes just blocking yourself from seeing their posts can help use to get over it. It is an automatic response to feel like we aren't good enough when someone decides to end things, although I think it is more of a reflection of them than you. I am sorry you are feeling this way, time is the biggest heeler

Niamhh1309

Hey Bella,
Thank you for opening up on this thread and trusting us with your feelings.
Even though it was in the past, your feelings are entirely valid and real as @daisyella12 said. It’s difficult in situations like that when they told you that they don’t want to be in a relationship and now you see them in one. It would naturally leave you questioning why they said that and thinking that it must be an issue with you. This isn’t true though and although it can be very painful, their behaviour isn’t a reflection of you at all. You may not be able to be with this person, but there will be another person who sees your value and worth and importance. It’s easy to fall down the spiral of questioning your self worth and why you aren’t enough, but you need to remember that you are so much more than enough. I hope you start feeling better soon, you are worthy of so much happiness🤍

BellaCanada

Hi @daisyella12 thank you for your response I have removed them from social media so hopefully won't see anymore photos.

Also thanks @Niamhh1309 its nice to hear that my feelings are valid like I know some people say it was the past it shouldn't matter anymore but that doesn't mean it still isn't nice to see. Also worth is something I struggle a lot with so its nice to even have a stranger say I am worth something so thank you.

Niamhh1309

@BellaCanada
Whether it’s in the past or present, you can’t control what bothers you, only how you deal with it. You’ve taken a situation that must have been quite upsetting and confusing for you (which is out of your control) and dealt with it in such a good way. Venting is very brave and puts you on the route to healing.
Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now you’re doing amazing and you should be proud for taking these important steps!🤍