Completely lost 😞

Feel so miserable. I thought I'd be ok without counselling or 1-2-1 support as I began volunteering. Now I feel its falling apart. I really hate over the phone counselling, even zoom is horrible. The place I used to go has a waiting list now so it wouldn't matter what place, I'd be stuck on a waiting list. I have no one else to really go to just to talk to as my mum is a 1-2-1 support worker so is very busy and when she comes home to chill out, I can't place my misery upon her. I don't really want to either as I think it'd be harder to. So I'm alone. And falling apart.
My mum got tested positive on Monday so even now she's stuck on what to do being stuck at home, she's also not really in a good mood either. I know she won't be in this way forever but I don't know how to keep going. I haven't got anyone to go cry to.
I just feel so alone, stuck, broken and have been questioning my general existence whether it's doing anyone any favours as its not doing me any...

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Comments

Former Member

Hi @Millicento_

I am so sorry you are feeling this way, it sounds like you are going through a very difficult time. I really appreciate you reaching out to us. Do you mind me asking why you feel volunteering is falling apart? Volunteering is such a kind and generous thing to do, you should feel proud of yourself. I can understand why you wouldn't want to go to your mum, it seems she is under a lot of stress at the moment too. I know it may come across like she may not have the time to speak to you about how you are feeling, but I am sure she would happily make time for you if she knew you needed it. Of course if you do not feel comfortable talking to your mum you do not have too. Have you been in contact with your GP? is this how you were referred to your previous counsellor? Your GP may be able to provide you with a counsellor that has less of a wait. I know it is not the same as face to face counselling, but we are here with open arms more than happy to listen to everything you'd like to share with us. There is also a 1-2-1 chat on here that may be useful to you, as well as multiple hotlines, such as, texting SHOUT to 85258 and calling samaritans on 116 123 etc.

I can guarantee your existence is doing many people many favours, including your family, your friends, as well as us here at The Mix. However, I completely understand why you feel this way and want you to know that your feelings are valid. Sending loads of hugs

Former Member

My volunteering isn’t falling apart, I still go and help and sometimes the people can make me giggle a bit but it’s more me falling apart.
My mum does say how she has time for me, but it’s a bit tough to have quite miserable talk when I like to have a more uplifting time with her. I think that can be helpful sometimes, perhaps even for both of us.
I haven’t been in contact with my GP. I know that the place she had be referred to before do have a self referral system too. And it seems their only go to. I have done private before but I don’t want to pay this time😕
Thank you. I’m glad someone took the time to read this itself x

Former Member

I am glad volunteering gives you some happiness even if it is just a distraction. Sometimes distractions are what is needed and sometimes we need to discover the route of the problem. I completely understand, it must be difficult to bring negativity into the conversation. However, knowing your mum is willing to talk openly to you about your struggles is such a blessing

. It isn't fair that in order to get immediate help people need to pay for it. I really hope you can get some help soon!

You're more than welcome!

Distraction

Hey, I hate zoom and phone counselling as well, I even hate the traditional sitting in a room across from each other counselling.

So thought I should mention walk counselling, I done it for a bit, really helped, thinking of going back, we just walk in a park and you get to talk about anything, however it's something I had to pay for and I'm not sure of ur financial situation but I was allowed to start pretty much instantly.

Hope this helps and hope ur getting on alright